First year roommate was disturbing, roommate last semester was nonexistent, but Chinese Roommate is just weird. Not different. Just weird.
Among other things, Vegemite and I finally discovered what she was doing those three nights she kept us all awake. Apparently she was throwing a ball against the wall and not digging a tunnel to China as had previously been thought, and which, in retrospect, would have made more sense. I don't know if it's bizarre exercise that can only be done when the moon is full or what, but CR found reason to throw a handball against a concrete wall for four hours a night, 3 days in a row, and only at ungodly hours, namely 2 o clock in the morning.
The reason for this post is that I just got yelled at for using the liquid boiler thing in the kitchen to boil liquid. When CR approached me (liquid boiler in hand), and delivered her sermon on Why It Was Wrong For Me To Boil Liquid In The Liquid Boiler Even Though I Cleaned The Goddamned Thing Afterwards, I was like "Oh, p.s Chinese Roommate, do you have any idea where our oven racks went? Because I went to use the oven today, but the oven racks are gone and I can't find them." "Oh," said CR, "I gave them away."
I'm sorry, come again? You gave away our oven racks? You gave away our oven racks? Jesus Mary and Joseph Christ on a Sidecar with an order of the Whore of Babylon and everything else that is swear-worthy in every religious book on the planet. I'm all for helping the poor or what not, but it seems to be like a better idea to join the Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, or that organization that fixes cleft lips for a dollar. Or, if it's donating that you fancy, you can give money, give clothing, give old books you haven't read in years or toys you never liked from your childhood and write them off as tax-deductible. Personally, I'm all for adopting babies from Guatemala, digging ditches for farmers in Columbia, signing up for newsletters out of guilt, buying homeless people sandwiches, doing canned food drives, going to Bono concerts and hells-yes-ing Bill Gates philanthropy. Somehow I feel as those all of these would accomplish more than giving away the goddamned oven racks.
Seriously, what are third world children going to do with oven racks? "Gee, thanks Red Cross, I'm starving, my country's been ravaged by war, big business and western politics, I've had malaria eight times, and the one history textbook that exists in my single room roofless schoolhouse still says there's an iron curtain across Europe, but now that you've given me these kick-ass oven racks, I really feel that my life is going to change for the better."
Jesus Mary and Joseph Christ on a Sidecar with an order of the Whore of Babylon, I am so pissed off. But more than that, I just don't understand.
22 April 2008
21 April 2008
It's not weird, it's different
In the wise words of Claire, hold onto your lederhosen ladies and gentlemen, and advance apologies for the long-ness that is about to occur.
I don't know many people are reading this that took German with me in high school, or had Frau Stecher as a German teacher? Probably none (except you Amy), but for those of you who never met/had Frau, her motto was always "It's not weird, it's different." It's a good motto, and it got applied to any and every question we ever had about why Germany was so weird (or rather, why Germany isn't weird because it's just different.) Language? Culture? People/places/German TV? It's not weird, it's different.
Coming here, I've really tried to keep that motto alive, because it's useful and it puts things in perspective. Which is why, during the last three days of my life I spent following German riding students around, I latched onto it like a lifejacket and repeated it every two and a half seconds. You'll see why:
Okay, so horseshow! Student horseshows in Germany are pretty much the complete opposite of what they are in the US (and, no offense IHSA, but I think they're better in some ways, and this isn't american-inferiority complex talking here). Student horseshows in Germany are, among other things, a giant excuse to party. Everybody knows and loves everybody else from all the other teams, but the only time they see each other is at horseshows, which mean these events come out something like family reunion meets dance parties on speed and no sleep, and I mean this in the best way possible. They're also pretty evenly split male/female, which is (I must admit) a nice change.
Friday night is a giant themed costume party. The theme for this one was "Wetten, dass..." which is a German TV show I've never seen, but I still got thrown into a costume and made to go anyway. Being the only foreigner and with not-so-great German was (more than) a little overwhelming and intimidating, but I met lots of people which was cool, except when they asked me what my costume was, and I couldn't tell them. Also, we came back at 5.30 in the morning, got three hours of sleep on the floor of an elementary school gymnasium, and had to get up for Saturday.
Saturday was dressage day, and apparently a continuation of the costume party the night before, as I discovered when I had a minor heart attack over the dressage team that went in with googles and those little swimmie-armband floation devices on over their riding clothes, which (apparently) is perfect okay. But it's not weird, it's different. It was also really fun, because teams (while not really taking competition to heart in the ring), really tried to out-yell each other, as in every five minutes one team would go "oooooooOOOOOOHHHH...KONSTANZ!" or whatever their team name was. Girls would also occasionally yell "HANDSOME MAN ON HORSE!" whenever guys went into the ring, and vice versa. Lots of bursting out into song and dance a la musical all day, lots of yelling, and lots of crazy German dance music in the background. Like at one point a really tall kid from another team drew a pony to compete on, and when he entered the ring the DJ (because there was one) started playing a silly song "Du bist gerade auf dein Pony...", all about how "you're riding a pony, you look ridiculous, your feet are touching the ground," etc etc and everyone started singing it, and the poor kid was laughing so hard he almost didn't finish his dressage test.
Saturday night was another party, and I spent a solid two hours being taught a German drinking game involving bouncing a quarter off a table and into a mug (and it' dumb, p.s.). I also learned The Dance that everyone does--apparently it's a very old German dance that only the riding students have kept alive, and it involves lots of twirling and crazy fun stuff, and I promise I'll teach it to all of you because it's awesome, but you need a guy (who's volunteering?) and you have to do it to fast music. And speaking of music, just for the record, the German idea of what music is cool ceased progressing somewhere in the mid-80's, so if you've never heard La Bamba remixed to an electro beat before, I would recommend it, because it's not weird, it's different. I also taught the German kids the Cotton-Eye Joe, because while the song is popular, the dance just never made it over.
Also, if anyone tells you Germans have magical european livers of steel, that's a lie, because they don't. The only difference is it takes them four or five straight hours of drinking to only get half as drunk as americans, but they've got lots of fun little things to help pass the time. I learned all about klopfers or knockers, which are like these really mild shot-type things in a little bottle. They're called knockers because you have to get a group of friends, hold your little bottle upside down, bang it on the table for like 20 seconds screaming, rip the cap off, put the neck of the bottle between your teeth, and then drink. Klopfers got done every so often throughout the night (and before the night starts), as I found out about an hour before we left for the party. We had come back early to take naps, and when I woke up I heard "Tina needs one too!" I sat up to see what it was that I needed, and got hit in the chest with a bottle of alcohol, which in retrospect, is a situation that could really only occur to me in Germany. But! As Frau Stecher says, it's not weird, it's different.
Sunday was jumping day, which was pretty fun. But in Germany, tough horse draw is tough horse draw, and when the same horse throws off it's first three riders, good luck to rider number four, because that's what happened, and the German students did not understand why I did not understand. Casualty Number 2 landed on his knees, and I can only imagine how much that must have hurt! Also at the end of the every day, the top boy rider and the top girl rider have to compete against each other for the winner-of-the-day title, and at the end of it they have to grab each other, fall down, roll around on the ground, and pretend like they're making out. Which is not weird, it's just different. It's a tradition to represent no hard feelings or what not, or at least that's how it got explained to me? Then they have the awards ceremony, no ribbons, only prizes, and the Survivor's Cup for the team that stays the longest at the parties (which was us) gets given out, the prize for which was a box of klopfers.
Bear with me a little longer, but I just really need to get this out there:
At one point on Sunday during the show, somebody busted out a number of bright pink cut-out rubber breasts that a bunch of people hung around their necks and nonchalantly walked around in for the day. Then somebody thought it would be a good idea to hang one on a horse and go jump a course in it. With that in mind, I'd like to slightly edit the motto, because 90 percent of the time, it's different, but the other 10 percent of the time, it's horses jumping fences while wearing female genitalia, and no matter how much I carve that one up, that's just weird. And the fact that I was as completely unbothered as everyone else should be considered a sign and a cry for help.
Sorry for the really rambling really long post, but I know like 89 million people are going to be asking me what German student horseshows are like, so there. That's what they're like, complete with bizarre traditions, dances, and sex-shop merchandise. Riding today, will let you know how that goes, but right now, I'm going to sleep, I've spent the last two nights on a gym floor. Adios amigos!
I don't know many people are reading this that took German with me in high school, or had Frau Stecher as a German teacher? Probably none (except you Amy), but for those of you who never met/had Frau, her motto was always "It's not weird, it's different." It's a good motto, and it got applied to any and every question we ever had about why Germany was so weird (or rather, why Germany isn't weird because it's just different.) Language? Culture? People/places/German TV? It's not weird, it's different.
Coming here, I've really tried to keep that motto alive, because it's useful and it puts things in perspective. Which is why, during the last three days of my life I spent following German riding students around, I latched onto it like a lifejacket and repeated it every two and a half seconds. You'll see why:
Okay, so horseshow! Student horseshows in Germany are pretty much the complete opposite of what they are in the US (and, no offense IHSA, but I think they're better in some ways, and this isn't american-inferiority complex talking here). Student horseshows in Germany are, among other things, a giant excuse to party. Everybody knows and loves everybody else from all the other teams, but the only time they see each other is at horseshows, which mean these events come out something like family reunion meets dance parties on speed and no sleep, and I mean this in the best way possible. They're also pretty evenly split male/female, which is (I must admit) a nice change.
Friday night is a giant themed costume party. The theme for this one was "Wetten, dass..." which is a German TV show I've never seen, but I still got thrown into a costume and made to go anyway. Being the only foreigner and with not-so-great German was (more than) a little overwhelming and intimidating, but I met lots of people which was cool, except when they asked me what my costume was, and I couldn't tell them. Also, we came back at 5.30 in the morning, got three hours of sleep on the floor of an elementary school gymnasium, and had to get up for Saturday.
Saturday was dressage day, and apparently a continuation of the costume party the night before, as I discovered when I had a minor heart attack over the dressage team that went in with googles and those little swimmie-armband floation devices on over their riding clothes, which (apparently) is perfect okay. But it's not weird, it's different. It was also really fun, because teams (while not really taking competition to heart in the ring), really tried to out-yell each other, as in every five minutes one team would go "oooooooOOOOOOHHHH...KONSTANZ!" or whatever their team name was. Girls would also occasionally yell "HANDSOME MAN ON HORSE!" whenever guys went into the ring, and vice versa. Lots of bursting out into song and dance a la musical all day, lots of yelling, and lots of crazy German dance music in the background. Like at one point a really tall kid from another team drew a pony to compete on, and when he entered the ring the DJ (because there was one) started playing a silly song "Du bist gerade auf dein Pony...", all about how "you're riding a pony, you look ridiculous, your feet are touching the ground," etc etc and everyone started singing it, and the poor kid was laughing so hard he almost didn't finish his dressage test.
Saturday night was another party, and I spent a solid two hours being taught a German drinking game involving bouncing a quarter off a table and into a mug (and it' dumb, p.s.). I also learned The Dance that everyone does--apparently it's a very old German dance that only the riding students have kept alive, and it involves lots of twirling and crazy fun stuff, and I promise I'll teach it to all of you because it's awesome, but you need a guy (who's volunteering?) and you have to do it to fast music. And speaking of music, just for the record, the German idea of what music is cool ceased progressing somewhere in the mid-80's, so if you've never heard La Bamba remixed to an electro beat before, I would recommend it, because it's not weird, it's different. I also taught the German kids the Cotton-Eye Joe, because while the song is popular, the dance just never made it over.
Also, if anyone tells you Germans have magical european livers of steel, that's a lie, because they don't. The only difference is it takes them four or five straight hours of drinking to only get half as drunk as americans, but they've got lots of fun little things to help pass the time. I learned all about klopfers or knockers, which are like these really mild shot-type things in a little bottle. They're called knockers because you have to get a group of friends, hold your little bottle upside down, bang it on the table for like 20 seconds screaming, rip the cap off, put the neck of the bottle between your teeth, and then drink. Klopfers got done every so often throughout the night (and before the night starts), as I found out about an hour before we left for the party. We had come back early to take naps, and when I woke up I heard "Tina needs one too!" I sat up to see what it was that I needed, and got hit in the chest with a bottle of alcohol, which in retrospect, is a situation that could really only occur to me in Germany. But! As Frau Stecher says, it's not weird, it's different.
Sunday was jumping day, which was pretty fun. But in Germany, tough horse draw is tough horse draw, and when the same horse throws off it's first three riders, good luck to rider number four, because that's what happened, and the German students did not understand why I did not understand. Casualty Number 2 landed on his knees, and I can only imagine how much that must have hurt! Also at the end of the every day, the top boy rider and the top girl rider have to compete against each other for the winner-of-the-day title, and at the end of it they have to grab each other, fall down, roll around on the ground, and pretend like they're making out. Which is not weird, it's just different. It's a tradition to represent no hard feelings or what not, or at least that's how it got explained to me? Then they have the awards ceremony, no ribbons, only prizes, and the Survivor's Cup for the team that stays the longest at the parties (which was us) gets given out, the prize for which was a box of klopfers.
Bear with me a little longer, but I just really need to get this out there:
At one point on Sunday during the show, somebody busted out a number of bright pink cut-out rubber breasts that a bunch of people hung around their necks and nonchalantly walked around in for the day. Then somebody thought it would be a good idea to hang one on a horse and go jump a course in it. With that in mind, I'd like to slightly edit the motto, because 90 percent of the time, it's different, but the other 10 percent of the time, it's horses jumping fences while wearing female genitalia, and no matter how much I carve that one up, that's just weird. And the fact that I was as completely unbothered as everyone else should be considered a sign and a cry for help.
Sorry for the really rambling really long post, but I know like 89 million people are going to be asking me what German student horseshows are like, so there. That's what they're like, complete with bizarre traditions, dances, and sex-shop merchandise. Riding today, will let you know how that goes, but right now, I'm going to sleep, I've spent the last two nights on a gym floor. Adios amigos!
18 April 2008
The Weekend Ahead
Portuguese cookie-making was awesome, Marina has two Irish friends visiting so they all came, plus Fabio and a few other American/Canadian friends. Cookies were yummy, and it was quite a good time.
I feel like such a slacker, I'm taking four classes plus the literature course Margaret does with us, so technically five, but they only meet once a week for an hour and a half. Needless to say, I have a ridiculous amount of free time, but with aikido and horses, maybe not so much? I hope not. Should I pick up another class? I dunno :/.
Studi riding tournament in Bonn this weekend, leaving tonight at 7 and not coming back til Sunday. Will let you know on Monday how that goes (which I have no classes on because of aforementioned ridiculous amount of free time). Also I RIDE on Monday!!! HOORAY! And aikido on Tuesday!! HOORAY! Christ, time really flies here, how it already the middle of April?
Are-you-Portuguese count: 1! Woot!
Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend, see you in a few days! adios!
I feel like such a slacker, I'm taking four classes plus the literature course Margaret does with us, so technically five, but they only meet once a week for an hour and a half. Needless to say, I have a ridiculous amount of free time, but with aikido and horses, maybe not so much? I hope not. Should I pick up another class? I dunno :/.
Studi riding tournament in Bonn this weekend, leaving tonight at 7 and not coming back til Sunday. Will let you know on Monday how that goes (which I have no classes on because of aforementioned ridiculous amount of free time). Also I RIDE on Monday!!! HOORAY! And aikido on Tuesday!! HOORAY! Christ, time really flies here, how it already the middle of April?
Are-you-Portuguese count: 1! Woot!
Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend, see you in a few days! adios!
17 April 2008
Embracing Differentness
So my first Fo Shiz German class actually doesn't exist, and I was really mad about it because it was called Spanisch in Amerika, and it sounded really cool. But I found went to another Fo Shiz German class called "Dokumentation Bedrohter Sprachen" (Documentation of Endangered Languages) which is KICKASS. Like woah. It's entirely in German, but the book is in English, which is a little disappointing, but it seems like such a cool class, and the only thing I need to do for a grade is a) do or 30 minute presentation with 2 other people or b) write a ten page paper. I went to another class, but the professor said it was going to be taught entirely in English, so I got up and left. Seriously, if I wanted to take classes in English, I'd go to England, or just to Rutgers.
Anyway, today was also Marina's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENCH! So we had a party! Marina baked cake, and then we all got dressed up and went to an italian seafood place where we had an awesome fifty year old Italian waiter who gave us lots of chocolates and spoke to us in a confusing mix of Italian and German. Then we met up with Vegemite (formerly German Girl Roommate) and German Boy Roommate, and went to a party at the Uni.
Okay, so about Uni parties. This is not America. They open up the main building and serve beer, wine, and crazy weird fruit cocktails. Three dance floors, crazy music and strobe lights, and only for students=kickass. Imagine RutgersFest on crack with school-provided alchohol and better music. It was really just way fun, even though we quickly lost Vegemite, and German Boy Roommate turned out to be Mr. Personality and sat in a corner by himself the whole night and didn't move. Whatever. Mr. Personality eventually left, and then it was just mad fun. Everyone kind of peeled off around one, but me and Fabio (my friend's German roommate, who's name isn't actually Fabio but I thought it was) hung around for another hour and danced like morons. When we got back to Europahaus, he was like "So, doing anything tomorrow?" I was like "Umm...we're making portuguese cookies. If you want to come?" (Which sounds totally ridiculous but that's what we're doing), but he thought it was awesome and said he'll come. HOORAY! New friends!!
Okay, so something interesting that happened tonight: we were all dancing in a circle, and this random kid with a mohawk (me and mohawks :/) came up and started talking to me. He asked me where I was from, and when I said Amerika he completely stopped and said "America? Really? America? You're American?" And the conversation went from there. That's when I realized that maybe being an American in Germany isn't totally awful. America is such a huge presence in the world, but most of the Germans I've talked to really haven't met many real-live normal Americans. It's not like being from Europe, where all the countries are so close together and students studying abroad is normal. America is a giant political/cultural/linguistic machine, but there's not that many of us representing. So being American is something of a conversation starter, even if it subjects you to intense interrogation about where exactly you're from, which big cities are nearby, where the interrogator's friends/neighbors/third cousin twice removed on the mother's side have visited, and whether you're for Hilary or Obama and why.
New policy, in addition to Just Say Ja, is hereby christened Embracing The Differentness, and Thereby The Inherent Awesomeness.
Anyway, today was also Marina's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENCH! So we had a party! Marina baked cake, and then we all got dressed up and went to an italian seafood place where we had an awesome fifty year old Italian waiter who gave us lots of chocolates and spoke to us in a confusing mix of Italian and German. Then we met up with Vegemite (formerly German Girl Roommate) and German Boy Roommate, and went to a party at the Uni.
Okay, so about Uni parties. This is not America. They open up the main building and serve beer, wine, and crazy weird fruit cocktails. Three dance floors, crazy music and strobe lights, and only for students=kickass. Imagine RutgersFest on crack with school-provided alchohol and better music. It was really just way fun, even though we quickly lost Vegemite, and German Boy Roommate turned out to be Mr. Personality and sat in a corner by himself the whole night and didn't move. Whatever. Mr. Personality eventually left, and then it was just mad fun. Everyone kind of peeled off around one, but me and Fabio (my friend's German roommate, who's name isn't actually Fabio but I thought it was) hung around for another hour and danced like morons. When we got back to Europahaus, he was like "So, doing anything tomorrow?" I was like "Umm...we're making portuguese cookies. If you want to come?" (Which sounds totally ridiculous but that's what we're doing), but he thought it was awesome and said he'll come. HOORAY! New friends!!
Okay, so something interesting that happened tonight: we were all dancing in a circle, and this random kid with a mohawk (me and mohawks :/) came up and started talking to me. He asked me where I was from, and when I said Amerika he completely stopped and said "America? Really? America? You're American?" And the conversation went from there. That's when I realized that maybe being an American in Germany isn't totally awful. America is such a huge presence in the world, but most of the Germans I've talked to really haven't met many real-live normal Americans. It's not like being from Europe, where all the countries are so close together and students studying abroad is normal. America is a giant political/cultural/linguistic machine, but there's not that many of us representing. So being American is something of a conversation starter, even if it subjects you to intense interrogation about where exactly you're from, which big cities are nearby, where the interrogator's friends/neighbors/third cousin twice removed on the mother's side have visited, and whether you're for Hilary or Obama and why.
New policy, in addition to Just Say Ja, is hereby christened Embracing The Differentness, and Thereby The Inherent Awesomeness.
15 April 2008
"So...you're a Jersey Girl, huh?" and other short stories
Sungmi and I went back to Sankt Gallin yesterday to see Hamlet, which wound up being alot of fun. We got tickets to the art museum, then snuck into the nature museum and took pictures with all the taxidermified animals. The play itself was in German (sweet), and was like 80's techno-fied, with everyone wearing trenchcoats and carrying guns. The stage was also at like a 70 degree angle, and at the end of the play, all the 80's gold curtains in the background starting blowing and all the actors fought their way against the fake wind for like 10 minutes. Which I really didn't understand and which I'm pretty sure wasn't in the original.
On the way back I made friends with 2 random African dudes until Sungmi pulled me away and said I shouldn't talk to strangers. Then, after we got back to Konstanz, we got stopped by a group of German boys, who asked us if we knew of any bars in the area. I repeated the question to Sungmi in English, and all of a sudden the boys got super excited and Lead Boy said"You speak English?" "Yeah." Where are you from?" "New Jersey." At this, Lead Boy took a step back, looked me up and down for like thirty seconds, and said "So... you're a Jersey Girl, huh?" I don't know how people in Germany became acquainted with Jersey Girls, or what stereotypes the label implies here, but I do know that Lead Boy was looking way too excited for his own good. So I got out of that one real fast.
______________________________________________________________
There have been alot of banging noises coming from Chinese roommate's room the last three nights (and just for the record, I know for a fact she's in there alone.) Yesterday German Girl Roommate and I sat downstairs for like a hour brainstorming what on earth the noises are and why on earth CR is making them. This is how the conversation went:
GGR: Maybe she's building a table.
Me: Maybe she's building a pirate ship.
GGR: Maybe she's building a really BIG table.
Me: Maybe she's digging a tunnel.
GGR: To CHINA!
So it's settled by popular vote. CR is currently working on a tunnel back to the motherland, and with the amount of effort that's emanating in sound waves from her room, I expect it should be done in a few days.
_____________________________________________________________
A little bit of background: GGR, before she started school, backpacked Australia for six months. She's madly in love with the country, her boyfriend is Australian, and every shirt she owns has Australia, Sydney or a kangaroo on it. Basically, she's in the process of converting from German to Aussie.
Transformation complete? Today I walked downstairs to find her making a Vegemite sandwich, at which I promptly dropped everything I was carrying (my laundry) and yelled "Vegemite!" Because I'd never actually seen the stuff before, but here was GGR, slathering it all over two pieces of bread. She let me try some, and just for the record, it's disgusting. It's beyond disgusting. If everything disgusting in the world had a contest for the world title, Vegemite would beat out McDonalds, Burger King, and vegan food hands down. GGR laughed at my mad dash to spit it out, shrugged and said "More for me." And threw some more on her toast. It seems a bit strange to me, in retrospect, that my vegemite virginity got taken out in Germany of all places, but these things happen I guess.
______________________________________________________________
Today I went to the student riding hour at the local barn, and guess what! I'M RIDING NEXT MONDAY! Jaysus Christ Mary and Joseph I am GETTING ON A HORSE! Hooray! I am SO excited! But so anyway, today as we were all sitting around hanging out, one of the girls on the equestrian team came up to me and said "Do you want to come blah-blah-blah with us?" Except I didn't know what she was asking. In the past, it has proven wiser to clarify the question first, but in this case I figured I could just apply Just Say Ja wisdom and just agree to come along. So I did. I followed her into the ring, and that's when I met Franz Ferdinand, the giant vaulting horse. Because apparently we were vaulting.
For those of you who have never seen vaulting (horse vaulting), it's basically gymnastics on horseback (go look it up on youtube). People get up there and do all sorts of funky tricks while the horse is cantering around in a giant circle, but let's clarify something: Tina rides horses. Tina does not do cartwheels on them. But Tina tried anyway, and because the real horse was sick, we used Franz Ferdinand the wooden horse. It was hard, but fun. I didn't do cartwheels, but I did do some pretty kickass handstands, and next week when the horse is better, I'll get to try it on a real, live, breathing, and hopefully standing-still horse. See? One more example of Just Say Ja policy working out to cool ends.
_______________________________________________________________
first class tomorrow, will let you know how that goes. adios!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)