Tina and Claire here!
So the theme of Claire's visit is vaguely freaky sex stores. This wasn't the intended theme--the intended theme was "see Germany", but the new, unintentonal goal of the trip is to "see the freaky side of Germany." Stories follow.
First things first, yesterday out of sheer bordeom Claire and I decided to go into a sex shop and run around. We took pictures of Pirate Duck with various sex toy rubber ducks, with such cool names as "Bondage Duck," and "Rub My Duck." And I would just like to mention quickly that everything in that store looks really painful and capable of putting someone in the hospital, and I don't much plan on going in there again.
Then today, Claire and I decided to go swimming in the Rhine, where our virgin eyes were assaulted by old men in brightly colored speedos. But before this occured, Claire (who, sadly, was left alone for several hours today while I was in class), managed to find her way back to the sex store where she bought me a lovely gift of gummy genitalia (and the red ones are the best.) She has promised Marina that tomorrow she will go back and buy pasta genitalia. I think I'll let them have that special party alone.
Also today, Claire, Fabio and I decided to walk down to a pizza place and buy some pizza (duh). Right across the street was a video store with an adult section, which Fabio thought would be quite cool to drag us into. So, against my will, we went with him, where he promptly dropped us off in the triple X aisle and vanished to go look at horror movies or whatever. This meant me and Claire, totally alone, surrounded by walls of naked women on video covers with various painful looking devices, in various painful looking positions, with some donkeys or whatever, while the boy, who's idea it was in the first place, considered the merits of watching Hostel versus The Exorcist, not even thinking about the two sad girls he'd abandoned in the porn aisle. Thanks Fabio. Thanks.
That will be all.
11 July 2008
10 July 2008
Claire Writes!
So for those of you who live under a rock, Claire's visitng for a week because she's AWESOME! She's also writing my blog entry for today. Here goes:
WARNING: pretty much i dont believe in grammer only the occational period and am possibly the worst speller you will ever meet and it just gets worse when im typeing so good luck
ok so pretty much tina has a cloud of paper cranes that she has hung from the ceiling and im kinda jealous because iw ant them so im thinking about stealing them before i leave and when she asks where they are im going to say that i dont know and act like im concerned
heres the rundown of everything that iv learned since iv been here:
1. it smells like cows not in a gross way but in a fresh amish way i kinda like it
2. there are many brightly colored buildings that are sorta flamigo pink next to these cute little ones that are more like the sound of music
3. the paddle boats are massive they look like real boats but there not there made of wood and it looks like some one actualy takes care of them
4. ATTENTION!! TINA HAS YET TO SAY SORRY FOR ANYTHING!!!!! AND THAT IS A BIG DEAL SO JEN MAKE SURE TO TELL YOUR AUNTS I THINK IT WILL MAKE THEM HAPPY
5. schmuck means jewelry (julery)
6. all germans are obsessed with country time lemon aid so much so that they will resort to being tinas friend
7. people take country time lemon aid over alcohol
8. rice cakes come in strange flavors like strawberry
9. i went to a class with pickels freehold and i found it facinating mostly because i could draw pictures through the whole thing and not feel like a may be missing something and it was a refreshing feeling and i got some serious art work done and a very impressive rap that i am more than willing to sing upon request
10. gremans seem to have difficulty deciding what color their hair should be so they just take all of them staring with blond in the frind and progressivly getting darker as they go back it even applys to side burns but the eye brows are generly darker than the rest of the hair by at least 3 shades
11. the feilds in switzerland are perfectly geometric all of the feilds are perfect rectangles and on the extremely rare occation that they do not all of the corners are at right angles i have yet to see a german feild so i have nothing to compare it with other than england and america in england all of the feilds are misshapen blobs and in amreica the are so haphazard that they end up running into the road so the swiss are the definate leaders here
12. the cherrios are not perfectly round some of them almost pring open and its not like they are even made my some generic brind thier made by kellogs it was baffeling
so that was claire!! woot! our plan for the week: visiting islands with castles, going to the largest waterfall in Europe, and doing a day-trip to Austria. HELLS YES.
adios amgios!
Tina and Claire
WARNING: pretty much i dont believe in grammer only the occational period and am possibly the worst speller you will ever meet and it just gets worse when im typeing so good luck
ok so pretty much tina has a cloud of paper cranes that she has hung from the ceiling and im kinda jealous because iw ant them so im thinking about stealing them before i leave and when she asks where they are im going to say that i dont know and act like im concerned
heres the rundown of everything that iv learned since iv been here:
1. it smells like cows not in a gross way but in a fresh amish way i kinda like it
2. there are many brightly colored buildings that are sorta flamigo pink next to these cute little ones that are more like the sound of music
3. the paddle boats are massive they look like real boats but there not there made of wood and it looks like some one actualy takes care of them
4. ATTENTION!! TINA HAS YET TO SAY SORRY FOR ANYTHING!!!!! AND THAT IS A BIG DEAL SO JEN MAKE SURE TO TELL YOUR AUNTS I THINK IT WILL MAKE THEM HAPPY
5. schmuck means jewelry (julery)
6. all germans are obsessed with country time lemon aid so much so that they will resort to being tinas friend
7. people take country time lemon aid over alcohol
8. rice cakes come in strange flavors like strawberry
9. i went to a class with pickels freehold and i found it facinating mostly because i could draw pictures through the whole thing and not feel like a may be missing something and it was a refreshing feeling and i got some serious art work done and a very impressive rap that i am more than willing to sing upon request
10. gremans seem to have difficulty deciding what color their hair should be so they just take all of them staring with blond in the frind and progressivly getting darker as they go back it even applys to side burns but the eye brows are generly darker than the rest of the hair by at least 3 shades
11. the feilds in switzerland are perfectly geometric all of the feilds are perfect rectangles and on the extremely rare occation that they do not all of the corners are at right angles i have yet to see a german feild so i have nothing to compare it with other than england and america in england all of the feilds are misshapen blobs and in amreica the are so haphazard that they end up running into the road so the swiss are the definate leaders here
12. the cherrios are not perfectly round some of them almost pring open and its not like they are even made my some generic brind thier made by kellogs it was baffeling
so that was claire!! woot! our plan for the week: visiting islands with castles, going to the largest waterfall in Europe, and doing a day-trip to Austria. HELLS YES.
adios amgios!
Tina and Claire
07 July 2008
Good/Bad weekend
So definitely some highs and lows to the weekend.
Fourth of July party was SWEET! SO many people came to our giant grill-fest which was awesome, and we taught all the non-americans about roasting marshamllows and making smores (which actually came out pretty well considering you can't get graham crackers in Germany. But butter cookies are actually not a bad replacement!). We decided to be as absolutley American about it as we could get, so we banned the speaking of German (at least amongst ourselves), and played country music (and I was the dj, woot!). But we lacked an American flag, so we put up a New Zealand one instead, just because the colors are the same.
I had a ton of fun, I made lots of new friends/saw a bunch I hadn't seen in awhile. Then we all decided to go swimming at midnight in the Rhine (which, see last post, is still really cold.) At midnight on a windy night, it's even colder, which means Vegemite, a Canadian friend and I only went in up to our knees, but Michigan Friend actually went swimming. Canadian friend tried to throw me in, but I kicked his ass a little bit. Then at 3 o clock in the morning, we all decided to go swimming again, and this time I went all the way in. Water was way cold but it was worth it. When I came back the party had mostly wound down, so a German friend broke out the guitar and we had a sing-fest. Then another Canadian friend did a pretty hilarious slam rendition of Puff the Magic Dragon, in which Puff kills all the other magical animals in order to protect his supply of weed. Random, but pretty awesome.
I went to bed at 4.30 in the morning, only to have to wake up at 8 Saturday to catch the train for a day-trip to Zurich. Forgot my passport (common theme? One day this will get me into trouble), but it was okay. Zurich is alot prettier than I would ever have guessed! Actually, it looked alot like Strassbourg, with the river running through the city and the frenchified architecture. Also, the Swiss stop for pedestrians, which almost (but not quite) made up for the ridiculous prices and the fact that they wouldn't take euros. Here are some cool pictures:
This poster is not funny.
Oh, Swiss German.
Canadian Friend on a bridge with a sweet view!
Life would be SO MUCH EASIER.
It was super hot, so I jumped in the river with all my clothes on.
Fourth of July party was SWEET! SO many people came to our giant grill-fest which was awesome, and we taught all the non-americans about roasting marshamllows and making smores (which actually came out pretty well considering you can't get graham crackers in Germany. But butter cookies are actually not a bad replacement!). We decided to be as absolutley American about it as we could get, so we banned the speaking of German (at least amongst ourselves), and played country music (and I was the dj, woot!). But we lacked an American flag, so we put up a New Zealand one instead, just because the colors are the same.
I had a ton of fun, I made lots of new friends/saw a bunch I hadn't seen in awhile. Then we all decided to go swimming at midnight in the Rhine (which, see last post, is still really cold.) At midnight on a windy night, it's even colder, which means Vegemite, a Canadian friend and I only went in up to our knees, but Michigan Friend actually went swimming. Canadian friend tried to throw me in, but I kicked his ass a little bit. Then at 3 o clock in the morning, we all decided to go swimming again, and this time I went all the way in. Water was way cold but it was worth it. When I came back the party had mostly wound down, so a German friend broke out the guitar and we had a sing-fest. Then another Canadian friend did a pretty hilarious slam rendition of Puff the Magic Dragon, in which Puff kills all the other magical animals in order to protect his supply of weed. Random, but pretty awesome.
I went to bed at 4.30 in the morning, only to have to wake up at 8 Saturday to catch the train for a day-trip to Zurich. Forgot my passport (common theme? One day this will get me into trouble), but it was okay. Zurich is alot prettier than I would ever have guessed! Actually, it looked alot like Strassbourg, with the river running through the city and the frenchified architecture. Also, the Swiss stop for pedestrians, which almost (but not quite) made up for the ridiculous prices and the fact that they wouldn't take euros. Here are some cool pictures:
This poster is not funny.
Oh, Swiss German.
Canadian Friend on a bridge with a sweet view!
Life would be SO MUCH EASIER.
It was super hot, so I jumped in the river with all my clothes on.Sunday was spent doing lots and lots of homework/being really upset because Michigan Friend to go back to the US that night. Me and a couple other friends decided to meet him at the train station to send him off, which wound up being really emotional and sucking in general. I miss him lots, and he's only been gone for a few hours. It sucked because we all realized that he was only the first friend to leave, and that in not too much time, we're going to have to say goodbye to lots and lots of other friends. Bleeeehhh, goodbyes suck.
At any rate, CLAIRE IS COMING TOMORROW! And I am so ridiculously excited! It's about time we get another American up in this joint.
At any rate, CLAIRE IS COMING TOMORROW! And I am so ridiculously excited! It's about time we get another American up in this joint.
04 July 2008
30 Things I Hate About You
I had a bit of a minor freak out today, because I realized I would be boarding a plane in exactly one month. Therefore, I've decided to write a list of everything I hate about Germany in the hopes that this would make me want to leave. Okay! Here goes:
1) I hate that the mosquitos here are mutant bloodsuckers that attack you during the day, bite you through your clothes, and go for your face.
2) I hate that none of the windows have screens, which means lots and lots of bugs.
3) I hate the labyrinth bureacracy.
4) I hate the lack of air-conditoning.
5) I hate how the peanut butter, syrup, and ketchup taste different.
6) I hate how much more expensive everything is.
7) I hate how there's only three busses that go to Uni.
8) I hate how if you cross the street before the green symbol, you get glares.
9) I hate the constant election coverage.
10) I hate how all the stores close at 4.
11) I hate how unhelpful sales people are.
12) I hate how closed the Germans as a general rule are.
13) I HATE PFAND! Where stores put charge like a 20 cent down payment on bottled drink that you only get back to return the bottle. But seriously, who goes out of their way to return a bottle for 20 cents? No one.
14) I hate how militant the pre-teens are.
15) I hate how gothic and wacked out the regular teens are.
16) I hate how hard it is to find still water.
17) I hate how none of my roommates clean...ever.
18) I hate that you have to smuggle fourth of July fireworks from the Czech Republic.
19) I hate how retarded Switzerland is, because they should just shut up and join the EU.
20) I hate how Germans can't small talk, and only discuss deep topics like politics or the apocalypse. And expect you to join in.
21) I hate how nobody says "How are you?"
22) I hate how everyone presumes to know more about America than I do.
23) I hate how in my Sociology of Scandals class, these kids discuss America like they live there. But they don't. Bite me, I do.
24) I hate how deoderant comes in really tiny bottles.
25) I hate nude beaches.
26) I hate how they don't sell twizzlers. Or goldfish crackers, or wheat thins, or swiss miss hot chocolate.
27) I hate how all the music on the radio is in German, and that all movies/tv shows are originally American but dubbed into German.
28) I hate how the Rhine is STILL COLD.
29) I hate Quark.
30) I hate how nobody tells you ANYTHING. They expect you to know, and if you don't know, they expect you to ask. But if you're American, and you're used to people just telling you things, this train of logic blows.
I can't think of anything else. I hate how 31) this was a totally unsuccessful idea.
FOURTH OF JULY!! And we are GRILLING! No fireworks (see #18), but lots and lots of grill food anyway. We're going to make smores too, but 32) I hate how they don't sell graham crackers here, meaning we're going to have to make do with butter cakes. Should be fun. Hopefully the weather is good, I really 33) hate how we got so much rain today, it kind of sucked a little bit. At any rate, this has been a very food-oriented week; we went out for German food Tuesday, Marina cooked Greek food today, and tomorrow (well, today technically), it's American grill-ness! Going to Zurich on Saturday, working all day Sunday and Monday, and CLAIRE COMES TUESDAY!! Wooooot!
1) I hate that the mosquitos here are mutant bloodsuckers that attack you during the day, bite you through your clothes, and go for your face.
2) I hate that none of the windows have screens, which means lots and lots of bugs.
3) I hate the labyrinth bureacracy.
4) I hate the lack of air-conditoning.
5) I hate how the peanut butter, syrup, and ketchup taste different.
6) I hate how much more expensive everything is.
7) I hate how there's only three busses that go to Uni.
8) I hate how if you cross the street before the green symbol, you get glares.
9) I hate the constant election coverage.
10) I hate how all the stores close at 4.
11) I hate how unhelpful sales people are.
12) I hate how closed the Germans as a general rule are.
13) I HATE PFAND! Where stores put charge like a 20 cent down payment on bottled drink that you only get back to return the bottle. But seriously, who goes out of their way to return a bottle for 20 cents? No one.
14) I hate how militant the pre-teens are.
15) I hate how gothic and wacked out the regular teens are.
16) I hate how hard it is to find still water.
17) I hate how none of my roommates clean...ever.
18) I hate that you have to smuggle fourth of July fireworks from the Czech Republic.
19) I hate how retarded Switzerland is, because they should just shut up and join the EU.
20) I hate how Germans can't small talk, and only discuss deep topics like politics or the apocalypse. And expect you to join in.
21) I hate how nobody says "How are you?"
22) I hate how everyone presumes to know more about America than I do.
23) I hate how in my Sociology of Scandals class, these kids discuss America like they live there. But they don't. Bite me, I do.
24) I hate how deoderant comes in really tiny bottles.
25) I hate nude beaches.
26) I hate how they don't sell twizzlers. Or goldfish crackers, or wheat thins, or swiss miss hot chocolate.
27) I hate how all the music on the radio is in German, and that all movies/tv shows are originally American but dubbed into German.
28) I hate how the Rhine is STILL COLD.
29) I hate Quark.
30) I hate how nobody tells you ANYTHING. They expect you to know, and if you don't know, they expect you to ask. But if you're American, and you're used to people just telling you things, this train of logic blows.
I can't think of anything else. I hate how 31) this was a totally unsuccessful idea.
FOURTH OF JULY!! And we are GRILLING! No fireworks (see #18), but lots and lots of grill food anyway. We're going to make smores too, but 32) I hate how they don't sell graham crackers here, meaning we're going to have to make do with butter cakes. Should be fun. Hopefully the weather is good, I really 33) hate how we got so much rain today, it kind of sucked a little bit. At any rate, this has been a very food-oriented week; we went out for German food Tuesday, Marina cooked Greek food today, and tomorrow (well, today technically), it's American grill-ness! Going to Zurich on Saturday, working all day Sunday and Monday, and CLAIRE COMES TUESDAY!! Wooooot!
01 July 2008
wake up and smell the roses
How is it July? How did this happen? Oh snaps, I am totally not ready or willing to come home in a month. How am I supposed to go back to serving pancakes without stabbing myself in the eye with a spatula? I forsee huge readjustment difficulties in America.
Today (well, since it's 1 AM, technically yesterday now) I was sitting on the bus, kind of not in a great mood because I was trying to read an article for class and the girl in front of me had her music cranked up obnoxiously loud. Like, so loud, she might as well have had a radio on her lap instead of headphones in her ears. At Konzilstrasse a lady in her early thirties carrying a rose got on the bus and sat down next to me. We sort of smiled hello at each other, and I went back to my (attempts at) reading. A few minutes later the lady laughed and said "I bet it's pretty much impossible with that music." "Yeah," I said, "it's tough."
And so we got to talking, and I gave up totally on my reading. She asked me what I was reading and what I studied, I noticed she had an accent and asked where she was from originally. Turns out she was Persian, from Iran, and had been living and working in Germany for the last year. I asked her how she liked the country, and she said "It's hard. The language is totally different, the culture is totally different, the people aren't anything alike. Right now I'm a cashier at the local tech store, I need to find better work, but it's hard sometimes, it's just hard. But you do what you need to." "Yeah," I said, "I guess you do." And she smiled and said "But you know, it's okay," and held up her rose.
"Is it real?" I asked. "Of course," she said, "smell it." So I did. "What do you think?" "It smells beautiful," I said, because it really did, and I'm guessing she'd just recently picked/bought it, because she'd been holding it like a prize possession the entire bus ride. But as the bus pulled up to her stop, she stood up and put the rose in my hands. "It's my gift to you," she said. "I can't take your rose!" I said, "It's yours." But she was insistent. "It's my gift and I want you to have it. Take it, and best of luck to you." I couldn't think of anything else to say but "Thanks," but she smiled at me before getting off the bus.
Okay, so forgive the sappiness or whatever, but I was kind of touched. I mean, thinking about it now, I figure no matter how much life sucks, if you can enjoy the roses, you're pretty much set. Plus, sometimes there's a nice stranger to remind you it's not so bad at all. I've got faith in humanity, and I'm pressing the rose so I don't forget it.
Adios!
Today (well, since it's 1 AM, technically yesterday now) I was sitting on the bus, kind of not in a great mood because I was trying to read an article for class and the girl in front of me had her music cranked up obnoxiously loud. Like, so loud, she might as well have had a radio on her lap instead of headphones in her ears. At Konzilstrasse a lady in her early thirties carrying a rose got on the bus and sat down next to me. We sort of smiled hello at each other, and I went back to my (attempts at) reading. A few minutes later the lady laughed and said "I bet it's pretty much impossible with that music." "Yeah," I said, "it's tough."
And so we got to talking, and I gave up totally on my reading. She asked me what I was reading and what I studied, I noticed she had an accent and asked where she was from originally. Turns out she was Persian, from Iran, and had been living and working in Germany for the last year. I asked her how she liked the country, and she said "It's hard. The language is totally different, the culture is totally different, the people aren't anything alike. Right now I'm a cashier at the local tech store, I need to find better work, but it's hard sometimes, it's just hard. But you do what you need to." "Yeah," I said, "I guess you do." And she smiled and said "But you know, it's okay," and held up her rose.
"Is it real?" I asked. "Of course," she said, "smell it." So I did. "What do you think?" "It smells beautiful," I said, because it really did, and I'm guessing she'd just recently picked/bought it, because she'd been holding it like a prize possession the entire bus ride. But as the bus pulled up to her stop, she stood up and put the rose in my hands. "It's my gift to you," she said. "I can't take your rose!" I said, "It's yours." But she was insistent. "It's my gift and I want you to have it. Take it, and best of luck to you." I couldn't think of anything else to say but "Thanks," but she smiled at me before getting off the bus.
Okay, so forgive the sappiness or whatever, but I was kind of touched. I mean, thinking about it now, I figure no matter how much life sucks, if you can enjoy the roses, you're pretty much set. Plus, sometimes there's a nice stranger to remind you it's not so bad at all. I've got faith in humanity, and I'm pressing the rose so I don't forget it.
Adios!
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