Ireland Part III: The People We Met

I'm a firm believer in "It's not the things you do, it's the people you meet," mostly because I find the people I meet tend to make my best stories.  Then again, I also have an amazing ability to attract the weidest people on the planet.

In the course of our trip, Claire and I met a metric crapton of entertaining people, which I have divided up below into our favorite, least-favorite, and weirdest.  Let's go from negative to positive.

Super Not-Cool People

Kilkenny Crafts Guy:  As is evident from the name, this guy worked in the craft store in Kilkenny that we quickly ducked into to buy postcards.  He was super condescending about our trip, and got legitimately angry with us for what he perceived as our flippant attitude towards the danger were were apparently putting ourselves in by undertaking a cross-country cycling trip with zero cycling experience.  We did not like him.

Lying Bike Bitches:  These ladies, the owners of a bike shop in Dublin, sold Claire what was, according to the bike store in Greystones, the completely wrong bike for what we were doing.  In short, they took advantage of the fact that we didn't know what we were doing.  Also, the bike was broken.  We made it as far as Greystones before Claire had to trade it in and spend more money on the sleek sexy roadbike that would eventually get her to Galway.

Condescending Belgian:  So named because he was condescending and Belgian.  We mostly disliked him because he walked around in his underwear while telling us how we were wasting our time by going to Dingle--which turned out to be one of our favorite places.  Moral of the story is, don't listen to naked Belgians.

The Israelis:  When we first met the Israelis, we liked them.  The second time, we were less sure.  By the third meet-up, we actively disliked how superbly condescending they were to women, and how they only liked us as long as they thought they could sleep with us.  And they got mad at us when they walked into the room and caught us hanging out with Simon, The Cool German.  

Crazy Rose:  So as to not repeat my last blog post, Rose was the psychotic Irishwoman who turned our hot water off at the B and B in Dungarvan, tried to make us shower in the sink, and then chased us out.  Did not like.

Stephen and Christian:  We stayed with these guys in Cork, and while they didn't outright dislike them, we disliked how the clearly didn't want us there.  Also, one of their friends went into our room and left the door open, and Christian's cat got out.  He blamed us for it, which we didn't like much either.

Post Office Douche:  For whatever reason, when we bought international stamps from the post office in Dublin they were giant and rectangular and not very stamp-like.  When we asked the guy for smaller ones because we had already written the postcards, he told us that was our "fatal flaw" and to go suck it.  Not a fan of that dude.

Matt from Marlton:  We met Matt from Marlton on our Ring of Kerry bus tour, where despite the age difference, he instantly fell in love with Claire.  And asked her out.  And she turned him down by saying she couldn't go out for drinks with him because I wouldn't be in the country.  Amazing?  Yes.

Super Favorite People!

Clement and Brian!:  We met them on our way out of Dublin and loved them so much, we spent the rest of the trip sending them postcards.

Daniel!:  Our favorite Englishman, who we met in Doolin where he was vacationing with his family.  We love him and miss him.

Steven!:  Sold us tea and scones every morning we were in Dublin.  Looks like a leprechaun.  So amazing.

Simon, The Cool German!:  I don't know why we loved him so much, but he was adorable and funny and made jokes about Germany.  Win.  Plus one for Galway friends.

Fierce Canadian Lesbian!:  As the name implies, she was fierce.  And Canadian.  And a lesbian.  We love ALL of those things, and had a brilliant time sitting in our hostel room with her and Simon and talking about everything.

Doney!:  I don't know if that's how you spell his name, but he was the owner of the boat company in Doolin we went to the Aran Islands with.  Also, he gave us a free boat ride to the Cliffs of Moher because we were wet and cold and exhausted and he clearly felt sorry for us.  He was right, the best way to see the cliffs is from the water.

Doolin Pole!:  We never caught his name, but he worked for Doney.  After arriving back in Doolin, we asked him for directions to the nearest supermarket.  We ran into him again on our way back to the hostel, and he offered to pick us up later and take us food shopping because it was raining buckets.  Also, he was awesome.

Birdwatching Poles!:  The Birdwatching Poles (Hubert and Anthony) were also couchsurfing at the same place as us in Cork, and they were our favorite thing about the city.  They were hilarious and thought Claire's impression of speaking French was really funny.  And they were great sports about how we never stopped making fun of them for watching birds.

David!:  Was our host in Kilkenny, and is just an all-around fabulous and funny guy.

Geraldine!:  She of the hot-pink B and B room.  Amazeballs.

Phyllis!:  Also owned a B and B, and was incapable of wearing blouses that weren't see-through.  Her dog's name was Jack, and when she was angry with him, she put him in the shed.

Sheila and Pat!:  The husband-and-wife team at the first B and B we stayed in of our trip, in Aughrim.  Sheila and Pat were adorable and hilarious and gave us giant hugs when we left.  Also fun was that we had the entire place to ourselves.

Barry the Nice Cyclist!:  On our second day of biking, Claire managed to get one of her backpack straps seriously wound up in her gears, to the point where her bike couldn't move.  It was so stuck in there, we couldn't pull it out.  Barry the Nice Cyclist was the nice cyclist who pulled over to have a nice chat with us while beating Claire's backpack into submission.

Swiss Guy!:  Hung out with us at the hostel in Doolin, and was just generally cool.  

Weirdest

Does-Not-Wash-His-Hands Mike:  It wasn't so much that we disliked Mike--we didn't.  Mostly it was that the hostel he was running was SO FUCKING WEIRD.  And he really needed to learn to wash his hands.

Scared-of-Roads Lady:  Was hilariously terrified of the roads and convinced we were going to die on them. It was a country road that I would have felt safe walking across blindfolded.

Cesare:  On our last night in Dublin, Cesare walked up to me and handed me a note...about how I seemed so nice and would I like add him on Facebook?  Kisses, Unforgettable CeCe.

The Kilkenny Quartet:  On a (Monday) night at the bar in Kilkenny, Claire and I got hit full force with the psycho quartet.  First was Dancing Nipple Guy, who kept licking his fingers and rubbing his nipples at us, sending us fleeing to the other side of the bar.  Second was Tony, who bought me a drink--or rather, bought himself a drink and then gave me his old pone.  Next up was Random Boy, who took my drink and dumped it on his head--we're still not entirely sure why.  And finally, winner of the night, was a boy who sat down next to me, and before I knew what was happening, unzipped my jacket, grabbed my boobs, and then told me they were lovely and I should show them off more.  Then he tried to get me to kiss him, for a good ten minutes, before throwing out a "Just kidding, I just wanted to see if you would do it."  The best part was that at the end of the night, the bartender told us he's one of the best Irish boys we could ever hope to find.