IIGOIIG Round 6! And other things

Before I start telling your ridiculous stories, I got mistaken for my fourth official ethnicity today, which means I only have two more to go before I complete that bucket list task.  And the nationality was... Argentinean!  Which confuses the crap out of me, because the guy making the mistake was Super Attractive Dominican Dance Man, and you would think that if I were Argentinean, I would see his Spanish and raise it +1 unintelligible accent,  instead of answering in German.  But one of American Friend's German friends told me that for this country, I look downright exotic, so maybe that's the issue.  Or it could be the hair.

At any rate, Latvian Friend somehow persuaded me to go to the salsa bar tonight, even though I was totally not feeling it.  But it turned out to be highly, highly entertaining.  For starters, while the music at the salsa bar is good, and the Domincan Dance Man super attractive, the people this bar attracts are so batshit insane, it makes for fabulous people watching.  Second, we went with Latvian Friend's new Czech Friend, who is drop-dead gorgeous and had the heavily-tattooed Majorcan waiter all up in her grill every minute he wasn't trying to convince me to do keg stands with a bottle of wine.

In between trying not to look at the Majorcan's horrible face tattoos and avoiding his wine bottles, we danced with Super Attractive Dominican Man.  Halfway through pretending we knew how to salsa, the door opens and in walks this tiny little man. Actually, walks is the wrong word, because he was on rollerblades.  Also, he was holding a puppy.

When he realized we were dancing, he threw the puppy on the nearest couch, where it curled up into a ball to watch the show.  Hands up over his head, he started spinning in circles, getting really, really close to us, and doing this frightening pelvic gyration which made me fearful for the safety of his hip flexors.

So, that brings us to:

Is It Gay Or Is It German...Round 6!

This is me asking you, if a man on rollerblades walks rollerblades into a bar, holding a puppy, and busts out pelvic thrusts to rival Shakira, is it gay, or is it German?  I already know the answer, because he told me while I was dancing hopping up and down with him.  But feel free to take this opportunity to test your German Gaydar.

How did the night end, you ask?  With Majorcan man making us all take shots of some weird green liquid that had about as much alcohol in it as my own saliva, Super Attractive Dominican Dance Man (SADD...M.  I like SADD.) telling Latvian Friend she has a nice face, and Face Tattoos begging Czech Girl for her phone number..  Nobody said anything to me because I had already put my Swedish hat on, which, on top of being awesome, also ensures that I receive about as much male attention as a dead squirrel with herpes.

The end.