07 November 2012

The German Election Party

Oh hey!

So yesterday was election day, as I'm pretty sure every breathing creature on the planet has already figured out unless they are deaf/stupid/make their seaweed homes somewhere off the Great Barrier Reef.  I was entirely unenthusiastic about this election--apathy plus distance times sheer disgust with the American political machine squared equaled "Fuck voting, I don't feel like paying the postage."  But then my boyfriend pulled the "I want to grow up to be the chancellor of Germany" card, which was nice, but it meant I had to vote.  Apparently, future politicians find such things important.  Go figure.

So I voted (read: filled out the paper and then let it sit in my purse until Al got tired of my hem-hawing and paid for the postage), and, having done that, decided to ignore the rest of the election--except; of course, for those times when it resulted in particularly hilarious SNL sketches that I could watch in the 17 minutes between their upload to the web and their violent death at the hands of German Youtube's distinctly Hitler-esque copyright team.  And that was it for me.

But then yesterday rolled around, and I was suddenly faced with the unpleasant choice of either watching the election or doing bullshit Swedish homework.  Writing John a postcard about Stockholm's Nobel Prize Museum vs. mudslinging.  Trying to remember what the past perfect does vs. the opportunity to be a cynical bitch at the TV screen, and let's be honest Tina, you probably won't get another chance like this until the next time ABC airs Twilight.  Fine.  Let's go to the election party.

Yes, there was an election party.  No, I do not understand why anybody three thousand miles away who is not American and has no connection to America feels obligated to stay up until 5 AM watching various experts discuss about how unlikely a tie is shortly before they freak out about all the horrible things that would happen if there was one (Fox News field day, Sarah Palin interviews, more hurricanes). However, there were a surprising amount of people who cared, surprisingly few of which were American.  But I did meet a seventy-year-old dude who works for Democrats Abroad. He was very nice, and if he ever runs for the position of Santa Clause, I'll be perfectly happy to vote for him.  I'll even pay the postage.

Anyway.  Back to the election party.  So there were little American flags everywhere and weird muffins and free waffles, which was a win.  There was even a camera crew--I'm not sure from where, or why, but they were there and filming.  The best part was when they came in to film the crowd's reaction to the first few Obama states. Everyone flipped shit and carried on like donkey kong, with the exception of me and Michigan friend, because we have far too much experience watching the electoral college votes roll in to stand up and pump our fists over Delaware.  This may come as a shock, Germany, but Delaware is not a game-changer.

Things I learned from the German election party:

--I can't be bothered to stay up until dawn watching my own election, let alone one for a different country.
--Santa Clause is a really nice guy who refers to everything below Massachusetts as "West of America."
--10 AM the next morning is a really inconvenient time to realize that by being the only two people not cheering on camera over Delaware, you made yourself look like a Romney fan.

The End.


Roomie said...

I knew it!


ifs ands Butts said...

This is probably one of the most hysterical things I've read. I easily went to sleep eelction night knowing good and well Obama would still be president in the morning despite what anyone said. All my German friends were having a party the next day as well, but no one as hardcore as your people :)

bevchen said...

Funny. We went to a pub quiz on Tuesday night (in an Irish pub) and one of my German friends asked why the TV wasn't on for the live election results. I was thinking "why do you care? It's not even your country!" Sometimes Germans are weird!