I honest to God think foreign girls give off some sort of scent that only German boys under the age of thirteen can smell, I don't know how they do it, but they do it every time. We were coming back from our a meeting with our program director (and, ironically, having a conversation about how pre-pubescent German boys are imps of Satan), when two PPGBs (about 8 years old) picked us up on their Foreign Girl Radar or whatever it is they've got, and started walking behind us. Except then they must have given each other the signal or what not because next thing we knew, they were marching in sync on our heels and screaming. I turned around to ask what they were doing, but they just kept screaming and marching, marching and screaming, and because we didn't know what else to do plus were a little freaked out, we started marching with them. This is how two 8 year old Germans paraded three Americans (aged 20-26) for a solid ten minutes down a public street. The worst part was, their grandmother was standing right there and totally didn't do a thing about it. Take a close look, pre-prubescent German boys, this is your kind totally pwning our kind.
PPGBs: 4
Tina: 1
Later a New Zealand friend had a birthday party, so we all grilled on the back lawn and I made lots of new friends. I talked to one Turkish/German girl who says that as long as the Bush administration is in power, she won't visit the US because she's afraid US citizens will throw her in Abu Ghraib, put a bag over her head, and torture her because she's Muslim. I had to very patiently and carefully explain that not all Americans are psychotic, but she didn't believe me. She did, however, think I was Spanish, which officially puts the count up to like 15.
Quote of the night:
So me and one of the other girls from Rutgers were talking to this Polish kid. "Where are you from?" he said to me. "I'm from the US, I go to the same school as her," I replied, pointing to the other girl from Rutgers. "Ahhh..." Polish kid said wisely, "you two must be very much in love."
What do you say to a Polish kid who assumes romantic relations between you and another girl just because you both give all your money to the same university? Where is the logic in this train of thought? Is this how it works in Poland?
27 May 2008
Where have I gone?
I want to post (again) today, just to share these words of wisdom with you:
Some days, I wake up in the morning, and I get Germany. On those days it doesn't feel like a foreign country anymore, I understand the pace of life here, I know the way things work, I can buy my sister a birthday present and ship it, I can get on the bus, talk to my friends, and just understand, no problems, no worries, just understand. Then I get to the Uni, where some student organization has advertised itself by making me step over cut-out silhouettes taped to the ground of dead people with still-bleeding bullet holes in their heads, chests, and abdomens, and 98% of me isn't bothered in the slightest. The other 2% of me mourns my lost humanity and cries out for vengeance.
Some days, I wake up in the morning, and I get Germany. On those days it doesn't feel like a foreign country anymore, I understand the pace of life here, I know the way things work, I can buy my sister a birthday present and ship it, I can get on the bus, talk to my friends, and just understand, no problems, no worries, just understand. Then I get to the Uni, where some student organization has advertised itself by making me step over cut-out silhouettes taped to the ground of dead people with still-bleeding bullet holes in their heads, chests, and abdomens, and 98% of me isn't bothered in the slightest. The other 2% of me mourns my lost humanity and cries out for vengeance.
Magic Cake Trick
Okay, sorry for the two-posts-one-day thing (even though technically since it's 2 AM, it's actually tomorrow) but I have a Story of the Day for you guys.
Yesterday was Fabio's birthday, and I had promised to bake him a chocolate cake, because I'm a good friend like that. I was really excited about this cake, because I found a really sweet looking mix in Kaufland and all I had to do was add water. So today I broke out the box, the whipped cream for the icing, and extra chocolate pieces for the top (like I said, a really sweet cake), and started baking.
The cake part turned out pretty good, minus a giant gaping hole in the center that I figured I could just cover with the icing. I put it in the refridgerator while I went riding, came back, and made the icing. I have no idea how it happened, but instead of turning into the light fluffy chocolate-y icing on the box, somehow the icing I made looked disturbingly like mud (and tasted like it too).
I did pretty much everything I could think of to fix the icing, but it just got worse and worse looking, and I got more and more distressed about it. Fabio walked in to find me ready to sit down in the corner and cry about the stupid icing and my inability to bake a cake out of a box, because I was just so pissed off, and I got laughed at a little bit. But he said "Let me see the cake." So I showed him the cake part with the giant gaping hole and said "I was going to cover it with the icing, but since I can't, it just looks like complete crap." "You know what it looks like to me?" he said. "What?" "A palm tree."
"It looks like a ruined cake," I said. But he shook his head, took a giant knife, and five minutes later had turned the Retarded Gaping Hole Cake into a palm tree.
I'm not lying:
Yesterday was Fabio's birthday, and I had promised to bake him a chocolate cake, because I'm a good friend like that. I was really excited about this cake, because I found a really sweet looking mix in Kaufland and all I had to do was add water. So today I broke out the box, the whipped cream for the icing, and extra chocolate pieces for the top (like I said, a really sweet cake), and started baking.
The cake part turned out pretty good, minus a giant gaping hole in the center that I figured I could just cover with the icing. I put it in the refridgerator while I went riding, came back, and made the icing. I have no idea how it happened, but instead of turning into the light fluffy chocolate-y icing on the box, somehow the icing I made looked disturbingly like mud (and tasted like it too).
I did pretty much everything I could think of to fix the icing, but it just got worse and worse looking, and I got more and more distressed about it. Fabio walked in to find me ready to sit down in the corner and cry about the stupid icing and my inability to bake a cake out of a box, because I was just so pissed off, and I got laughed at a little bit. But he said "Let me see the cake." So I showed him the cake part with the giant gaping hole and said "I was going to cover it with the icing, but since I can't, it just looks like complete crap." "You know what it looks like to me?" he said. "What?" "A palm tree."
"It looks like a ruined cake," I said. But he shook his head, took a giant knife, and five minutes later had turned the Retarded Gaping Hole Cake into a palm tree.
I'm not lying:
He seriously fo realz carved a palm tree into the cake.
So Germans are officially good at the following things:
1) Consuming inhuman quantities of beer and remaining standing.
2) Sniffing out older foreign girls and descending upon them.
3) Carving pastry goods into forms of plant life.
One day, when we Americans have trained ourselves in these tasks, maybe then we'll be almost as cool as the Germans.
EDIT: I FIXED THE VIDEO. Go watch it.
EDIT EDIT: I just thought I should let you all know that the poisonous spider got blown off my window in the last storm and has not yet managed to scale the building to come back. Alas, no more poisonous spider.
So Germans are officially good at the following things:
1) Consuming inhuman quantities of beer and remaining standing.
2) Sniffing out older foreign girls and descending upon them.
3) Carving pastry goods into forms of plant life.
One day, when we Americans have trained ourselves in these tasks, maybe then we'll be almost as cool as the Germans.
EDIT: I FIXED THE VIDEO. Go watch it.
EDIT EDIT: I just thought I should let you all know that the poisonous spider got blown off my window in the last storm and has not yet managed to scale the building to come back. Alas, no more poisonous spider.
24 May 2008
Ulm!
In Ulm, um Ulm oder in Ulm herum. Say this three times fast.
So originally we were supposed to go to Heidelberg, but for the third (count it: third) time, my friends were lame and backed out, which means we patched together a somewhat-spontaneous substitute trip to the birthplace of Albert Einstein.
So minus the pure awesomeness of trying to understand Schwaebisch, the town was actually pretty cool. First we climbed the largest church steeple in the world (which took a really long time but the view was totally worth it). The stairs up to the top were super narrow, so when we were going down and other people were going up, it made for some interesting wall-hugging. And, like the graceful swan I am, I managed to fall down the stairs, and was saved only by a giant bald german man who grabbed me and yelled at me to proceed cautiously.
Then we hit up a few museums, went on a boat cruise on the Donau, and then just wandered around aimlessly. Turns out there was also an exkursion nach Ulm for the other foreign students, and we ran into them in the city. One of the new girls, who just got here like two weeks ago, was trying to speak English to this sixteen year old kid handing out church pamphlets on the corner, but his English wasn't so hot, so I stepped up as amateur translator, and wound up totally making friends with the kid. Even though he was trying to get me to go to church, he was absolutley adorable about it.
What's that you say? A teenage German boy who's nice? Don't get too excited, he was Turkish. Hence the not-retardeness.
Then Sungmi and Canadian friend decided to go search for this weird Einstein fountain in the middle of nowhere. At this point I really wasn't feeling so good; if Satan had showed up at that moment with a chair, food, and ten minutes to sit down and eat it, I would signed my soul over in a heartbeat and thrown in a classroom of German children for good measure. Finally found the fountain, except it turned out to be broken, really creepy, and totally not worth it.
I took some sweet pictures of Emo Germans Rebelling Or What Not by the Donau, here they are. I really like how everyone's in black with the exception of the girl all the way in the back with the ball gown. I only took pictures because I saw a bunch of kids with cat ears, thought they were Japanese, and then laughed really hard when they wound up being Germans:
So originally we were supposed to go to Heidelberg, but for the third (count it: third) time, my friends were lame and backed out, which means we patched together a somewhat-spontaneous substitute trip to the birthplace of Albert Einstein.
So minus the pure awesomeness of trying to understand Schwaebisch, the town was actually pretty cool. First we climbed the largest church steeple in the world (which took a really long time but the view was totally worth it). The stairs up to the top were super narrow, so when we were going down and other people were going up, it made for some interesting wall-hugging. And, like the graceful swan I am, I managed to fall down the stairs, and was saved only by a giant bald german man who grabbed me and yelled at me to proceed cautiously.
Then we hit up a few museums, went on a boat cruise on the Donau, and then just wandered around aimlessly. Turns out there was also an exkursion nach Ulm for the other foreign students, and we ran into them in the city. One of the new girls, who just got here like two weeks ago, was trying to speak English to this sixteen year old kid handing out church pamphlets on the corner, but his English wasn't so hot, so I stepped up as amateur translator, and wound up totally making friends with the kid. Even though he was trying to get me to go to church, he was absolutley adorable about it.
What's that you say? A teenage German boy who's nice? Don't get too excited, he was Turkish. Hence the not-retardeness.
Then Sungmi and Canadian friend decided to go search for this weird Einstein fountain in the middle of nowhere. At this point I really wasn't feeling so good; if Satan had showed up at that moment with a chair, food, and ten minutes to sit down and eat it, I would signed my soul over in a heartbeat and thrown in a classroom of German children for good measure. Finally found the fountain, except it turned out to be broken, really creepy, and totally not worth it.
I took some sweet pictures of Emo Germans Rebelling Or What Not by the Donau, here they are. I really like how everyone's in black with the exception of the girl all the way in the back with the ball gown. I only took pictures because I saw a bunch of kids with cat ears, thought they were Japanese, and then laughed really hard when they wound up being Germans:
Anyway, that would be all. Adios! Hope you guys had good weekends!
Happy Birthday Chris!
Happy Birthday Chris!
22 May 2008
Nothing Cool
So truly nothing cool or interesting has happened in the last few days. Me and one of the other girls from Rutgers were looking into staying an extra semester (but due to the time differences between Rutgers and Konstanz semester starts, this would actually have meant an extra two semesters, which means if all had gone according to plan, I wouldn't have come home til next August). Unfortunately, my mom put a stop to that one quicker than you can say "Please don't sell my horse," which means that yes, you will see me again at the end of the summer.
Went swimming today. Had a minor run in with a bunch of pre-pubescent Germant boys hiding around the bend in the water slide who thought it would be funny to screw with the water so that they made a huge sheet of splash-ness that you had to pass through. And it actually was funny, but I'm just using this as evidence to further my theory that Satan drafts his imps from German grade schools. I also got a rubber duck chucked at my head. That's pretty much it.
Going to Ulm on Saturday, looking forward to testing my new camera.
There was a coconut sitting on my kitchen counter this morning.
I'm exhausted. Adios!
Went swimming today. Had a minor run in with a bunch of pre-pubescent Germant boys hiding around the bend in the water slide who thought it would be funny to screw with the water so that they made a huge sheet of splash-ness that you had to pass through. And it actually was funny, but I'm just using this as evidence to further my theory that Satan drafts his imps from German grade schools. I also got a rubber duck chucked at my head. That's pretty much it.
Going to Ulm on Saturday, looking forward to testing my new camera.
There was a coconut sitting on my kitchen counter this morning.
I'm exhausted. Adios!
18 May 2008
Voegeln
I don't know if this is normal when learning languages, but I mix up words alot. Maybe it's because words in German (seem) so similar to each other, I tend to screw up all the time, like when I mixed up Gesicht (face) with Geschichte (history), or when I confused Ziege (goat), with Zicke (bitch). Or, like today, when I meant to ask Marina "Moechtest du mehr Voegel?" (do you want more birds?) and said instead "Moechtest du mehr Voegeln?"
The addition of an extra 'n' produced a very awkward feeling me standing in the middle of the room going "What? What? What did I say?" as all the Germans I was with fell down and laughed themselves into a coma. Nobody considered it important to clarify for me what exactly I'd said. They just laughed until they turned blue in the face, until Vegemite said to Marina "I don't know, do you want more sex?" And then I turned super red, hid behind a pillow, and everybody laughed at me some more.
Note to German language learners: Vogel is bird. Voegel is birds. Voegeln is slang for sex. Learn from my mistakes.
Program yesterday was SWEET! I am so excited! We spent six hours learning about the cultural differences between US and German styles of communication, and how to effectively utilize them when trying to explain to ten year old German students who we're voting for. I can't wait to start!
Apparently Fabio has started saying "sweet", even sometimes when he speaks German, or so reports his roommate. The riding team as well as started saying it, as have a bunch of other students here that I hang out with. I give myself complete credit for bringing the word "sweet" to Germany.
Today I was bored, so I took my bike over the Swiss border, saw a cool-looking castle on a hill in the distance, and thought maybe I'd try to find it. Two hours, eight hills, and sneaking under 2 electric fences later, I found the castle, only to discover it wasn't a castle at all, but someone's house. Stupid Swiss people and their stupid castle houses. I must have biked at least 15 kilometers today, but I did make friends with a random group of swiss guys I met while creeping across a field I'd gotten into by going under the electric fence. They'd apparently had the same idea. Except it turns out they weren't swiss at all, but spanish. And I got hit on. Which just goes to show you, it doesn't matter where I go--I can be in Perkins, or I can be 3000 miles away, at the top of the hill underneath the castle-house in the middle of a field and surrounded by cow patties, and I will still get hit on by spanish guys. It's always the same.
P.S. New favorite song, hope you guys like rock: http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=pAC9y6kZucw
The addition of an extra 'n' produced a very awkward feeling me standing in the middle of the room going "What? What? What did I say?" as all the Germans I was with fell down and laughed themselves into a coma. Nobody considered it important to clarify for me what exactly I'd said. They just laughed until they turned blue in the face, until Vegemite said to Marina "I don't know, do you want more sex?" And then I turned super red, hid behind a pillow, and everybody laughed at me some more.
Note to German language learners: Vogel is bird. Voegel is birds. Voegeln is slang for sex. Learn from my mistakes.
Program yesterday was SWEET! I am so excited! We spent six hours learning about the cultural differences between US and German styles of communication, and how to effectively utilize them when trying to explain to ten year old German students who we're voting for. I can't wait to start!
Apparently Fabio has started saying "sweet", even sometimes when he speaks German, or so reports his roommate. The riding team as well as started saying it, as have a bunch of other students here that I hang out with. I give myself complete credit for bringing the word "sweet" to Germany.
Today I was bored, so I took my bike over the Swiss border, saw a cool-looking castle on a hill in the distance, and thought maybe I'd try to find it. Two hours, eight hills, and sneaking under 2 electric fences later, I found the castle, only to discover it wasn't a castle at all, but someone's house. Stupid Swiss people and their stupid castle houses. I must have biked at least 15 kilometers today, but I did make friends with a random group of swiss guys I met while creeping across a field I'd gotten into by going under the electric fence. They'd apparently had the same idea. Except it turns out they weren't swiss at all, but spanish. And I got hit on. Which just goes to show you, it doesn't matter where I go--I can be in Perkins, or I can be 3000 miles away, at the top of the hill underneath the castle-house in the middle of a field and surrounded by cow patties, and I will still get hit on by spanish guys. It's always the same.
P.S. New favorite song, hope you guys like rock: http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=pAC9y6kZucw
17 May 2008
Other News
So I've had like 8 gazillion billion million requests for pictures of my ears? Whatever, knock yourselves out:
In other news, I just debated US foreign policy with an Iraqi. This is an eye-opening experience that I would highly recommend.
In other other news, I signed up for this "Rent An American" program, where we go around to local schools in the area and talk to the kids about America-stuff and what not. First training day is tomorrow! This entire endeavor was a bit spontaneous, seeing as I heard about it yesterday, signed up today, and am off to Stuttgart (again) tomorrow.
Anyway, I feel like this is most definitely something I'll get good stories out of.
In other other other news, I still haven't bought a plane ticket home, and I really don't want to, because that would require admitting that I'm leaving in 2 and a half months and making plans thereto. In order to ease the pain of facing the fact that I have to go home, I've been searching for reasons to come back for an extended period of time. So far I've found anthropology masters programs in two Unis in this state, and a bunch of German families that need an American au pair, for like a year. Seeing as this is the best country in the entire world, my new life goal is called finish college, work as an au pair (or something) in Germany, and then just never leave.
In other other other other news, it's 3 AM, I have to be up in like five hours, and I am over and out. Peace homies.
In other news, I just debated US foreign policy with an Iraqi. This is an eye-opening experience that I would highly recommend.
In other other news, I signed up for this "Rent An American" program, where we go around to local schools in the area and talk to the kids about America-stuff and what not. First training day is tomorrow! This entire endeavor was a bit spontaneous, seeing as I heard about it yesterday, signed up today, and am off to Stuttgart (again) tomorrow.
Anyway, I feel like this is most definitely something I'll get good stories out of.
In other other other news, I still haven't bought a plane ticket home, and I really don't want to, because that would require admitting that I'm leaving in 2 and a half months and making plans thereto. In order to ease the pain of facing the fact that I have to go home, I've been searching for reasons to come back for an extended period of time. So far I've found anthropology masters programs in two Unis in this state, and a bunch of German families that need an American au pair, for like a year. Seeing as this is the best country in the entire world, my new life goal is called finish college, work as an au pair (or something) in Germany, and then just never leave.
In other other other other news, it's 3 AM, I have to be up in like five hours, and I am over and out. Peace homies.
16 May 2008
Why am I the only person with my clothes still on?
Wow, FOUR months of blogging! And I totally thought I'd get bored after like, two weeks!
So yesterday I went out behind the Sporthalle so sit out in the sun and read. This old lady turned around, and somewhere in the back of my mind, it got noted that she was naked. Then ten minutes later a french chick came along, laid down in the grass, and pulled her top off. Which effectively left me the only person within a 50 meter radius wearing clothes.
Later yesterday while Fabio and I were baking Schwarzwalde Kirschtorte, I related the story and got laughed at for my prude american-ness. Then I got detailed stories about naked German adventures that I apparently have to have, and just for the record, I don't know what all the other exchange students are doing, but personally, the clothes are staying on. Alles klar.
Today Marina and I headed over to Hungarian Friend's apartment, because she decided to have a goulash (sp?) party. Lots of fun, I got to help make the gulash (sp?), and Hungarian Friend made us all try some crazy Hungarian schnapps thing that she swore wasn't strong (because she'd put honey in it), when in actuality is tasted like honey-flavored acid (and I hid my 3/4 full shot glass behind the plant). Also, I made new friends from Lithuania, Sweden, Germany, insert more eastern european countries here. The ghoulash (sp?) came out awesome. I've decided I'm just going to spell gulaeshe as many ways as I can think to, and hopefully one of them will be right.
Gulaesch.
Anyway, what was really kind of amusing about the goloush party, was me and another american girl were discussing how it completely blows German people's minds when they realize that as an American you have indeed learned a second language. Like it just goes against everything they've ever learned about the states, and it totally makes their heads spin hilariously, even if it does get really annoying after awhile. You can pretty much count on the conversation going like this:
German: So where are you from?
American: The U.S.
German: *Wide eyed* But you speak German!
American: Yeah, that's true.
German: *Bug eyed* But where did you learn it?
American: In school.
German: *Anime eyed* You can learn German in your schools?
American: Yeah.
German: *Head explodes*
So Other American Girl and I were laughing and making fun of it (in German), when two German guys walked in. After rounds of introductions, the two of us started talking to the two of them, and wouldn't you know how the conversation went:
German Guy: So, where are you guys from again?
Me: We're from the U.S.
German Guy: *Wide eyed* But you speak German!
Other American Girl: JESUS CHRIST, we were just talking about this! YES! We speak German!
German Guy: *Bug eyed* But where did you learn it?
Us: Like in high school and college.
German Guy: *Anime eyed* You can learn German in your schools?
Us: Yeah.
German Guy: *Head explodes*
OAG: So...who else saw that one coming?
Me: I'm not cleaning it up.
So, that's about all that's interesting on my end. Peace out amigos, adios!
EDIT: I was right the first time! It's goulash!
So yesterday I went out behind the Sporthalle so sit out in the sun and read. This old lady turned around, and somewhere in the back of my mind, it got noted that she was naked. Then ten minutes later a french chick came along, laid down in the grass, and pulled her top off. Which effectively left me the only person within a 50 meter radius wearing clothes.
Later yesterday while Fabio and I were baking Schwarzwalde Kirschtorte, I related the story and got laughed at for my prude american-ness. Then I got detailed stories about naked German adventures that I apparently have to have, and just for the record, I don't know what all the other exchange students are doing, but personally, the clothes are staying on. Alles klar.
Today Marina and I headed over to Hungarian Friend's apartment, because she decided to have a goulash (sp?) party. Lots of fun, I got to help make the gulash (sp?), and Hungarian Friend made us all try some crazy Hungarian schnapps thing that she swore wasn't strong (because she'd put honey in it), when in actuality is tasted like honey-flavored acid (and I hid my 3/4 full shot glass behind the plant). Also, I made new friends from Lithuania, Sweden, Germany, insert more eastern european countries here. The ghoulash (sp?) came out awesome. I've decided I'm just going to spell gulaeshe as many ways as I can think to, and hopefully one of them will be right.
Gulaesch.
Anyway, what was really kind of amusing about the goloush party, was me and another american girl were discussing how it completely blows German people's minds when they realize that as an American you have indeed learned a second language. Like it just goes against everything they've ever learned about the states, and it totally makes their heads spin hilariously, even if it does get really annoying after awhile. You can pretty much count on the conversation going like this:
German: So where are you from?
American: The U.S.
German: *Wide eyed* But you speak German!
American: Yeah, that's true.
German: *Bug eyed* But where did you learn it?
American: In school.
German: *Anime eyed* You can learn German in your schools?
American: Yeah.
German: *Head explodes*
So Other American Girl and I were laughing and making fun of it (in German), when two German guys walked in. After rounds of introductions, the two of us started talking to the two of them, and wouldn't you know how the conversation went:
German Guy: So, where are you guys from again?
Me: We're from the U.S.
German Guy: *Wide eyed* But you speak German!
Other American Girl: JESUS CHRIST, we were just talking about this! YES! We speak German!
German Guy: *Bug eyed* But where did you learn it?
Us: Like in high school and college.
German Guy: *Anime eyed* You can learn German in your schools?
Us: Yeah.
German Guy: *Head explodes*
OAG: So...who else saw that one coming?
Me: I'm not cleaning it up.
So, that's about all that's interesting on my end. Peace out amigos, adios!
EDIT: I was right the first time! It's goulash!
14 May 2008
Insect Problems and Tina Learns Tolerance
INSECT INFESTATION!
So after I got back from Stuttgart (and wrote my last blog entry), I left my window cracked for like half an hour. When I went to go brush my teeth, I heard a weird buzzing sound from behind me, and when I looked up the entire ceiling was completely (COMPLETELY) covered in insects.
To say that I freaked out is a bit of a (gross) understatement. Mr. Personality heard me freaking out, and ran out of his room to see what the issue was. I pointed at my ceiling. "Crap," he said, "I've never seen it that bad." "What do I do!?" "Close your door so they can't come into my room." "Can't you help me do something?" I said. And he said: "...Do I have to?"
Wow, way to demonstrate the chivalry of German men.
Thankfully he suggested the use of his Spider Sucking Vaccuum. Mr. Personality (who has a huge bug aversion) has a vaccuum specifically designated for spiders, which I had always laughed at him for in my head, but truth be told I'll never laugh again. Spider Sucking Vaccuum saved my life. I spent three hours sucking insects off my walls, didn't sleep because I was too busy panicking about said insects, and went out first thing today and bought an insect screen for my window. Unfortunately, I'm still sleeping on a bare mattress (because the bugs were in my sheets too, so those got stripped, but I couldn't wash them today because somebody broke the washroom, which is an entirely different story).
To make things even better, guess what I learned today? Here's the conversation:
"Hey Tina, that is a giant spider outside your window!"
"I know, it's been living there all year. Thank god for this bug screen."
"Yeah, wow, and...HOLY CRAP THAT SPIDER."
"What?"
"It's venemous!"
"Are you fucking kidding me? I just sucked about 8 thousand bugs off the ceiling and now I have a venemous spider living outside my window?"
"Yeah."
"How many kinds of venemous spiders are there in Germany?"
"One."
"THAT ONE."
"Yeah."
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
"No."
"Crap."
So, the one type of venemous spider that exists in this country has currently made it's home right outside my window. this would be him To say that I'm having insect issues is a bit of a (gross) understatement.
In other (weird) news, my German grammar class occasionally gets taught by students who are pursuing careers in German-as-a-foreign-language, and guess what today's lesson was on? "Tolerance in Germany." Except the two students teaching spent an hour and a half talking about how people in Germany hate foreigners, showed us a film about a German woman cursing off foreigners, asked us if we had personally had any experience with Germans hating foreigners, and gave us a list of vocabulary to learn. So today, Uni Konstanz paid for me to learn such words as "Nigger" "Welfare Queen" "Poor People Who Have Too Many Children And Suck Our Taxes," "Poor People Who Don't Work And Suck All Our Taxes," "Poor People Who Do Work And Suck All Our Jobs (And Probably Our Taxes As Well)." I'm not even kidding. We seriously learned "nigger" and other really bad words for black people and foreigners in German.
The film they showed us was particularly bizarre. In it a young black man sits down on a bus next to an old woman. Begin woman's tirade first against blacks, then against Turks and Italians, then against everyone who's not a native German The tirade goes on for like ten minutes, cue in some really really hideous language (that we got quizzed on using our vocab sheet) and all through it the black guy doesn't say anything at all. Then the conductor comes around asking for the tickets. When the (still ranting) lady pulls out hers, the black kid grabs it out of her hands, puts it in his mouth, and eats it. The old lady tries to explain to the conductor that "the black man ate it," but she gets thrown off the train.
Moral of the story: Practice tolerance, or minorities will eat your important documents.
Then we all had to get in groups and reenact the film for the whole class. Read: curse each other up and down in German while two German students sat in the back of the class and congratulated us on our use of the vocabulary. We had to use quotes from the film, including "You don't have an invitation to come here," "We don't need Africans," and "All blacks have AIDS."
Germany has ceased to be different. I think most of you will agree with me when I say this country is just weird.
Anyway, adios amigos.
P.S. Your Insight Into German Culture/ Quote of the Day
"So, can you help me with this one? I don't understand why Germany is so into public displays of affection. Like seriously, laying on top of each other in the middle of the square and hard-core making out? I just don't get it."
"Did they have their clothes on?"
"Mostly."
"Well, what's the problem then?"
So after I got back from Stuttgart (and wrote my last blog entry), I left my window cracked for like half an hour. When I went to go brush my teeth, I heard a weird buzzing sound from behind me, and when I looked up the entire ceiling was completely (COMPLETELY) covered in insects.
To say that I freaked out is a bit of a (gross) understatement. Mr. Personality heard me freaking out, and ran out of his room to see what the issue was. I pointed at my ceiling. "Crap," he said, "I've never seen it that bad." "What do I do!?" "Close your door so they can't come into my room." "Can't you help me do something?" I said. And he said: "...Do I have to?"
Wow, way to demonstrate the chivalry of German men.
Thankfully he suggested the use of his Spider Sucking Vaccuum. Mr. Personality (who has a huge bug aversion) has a vaccuum specifically designated for spiders, which I had always laughed at him for in my head, but truth be told I'll never laugh again. Spider Sucking Vaccuum saved my life. I spent three hours sucking insects off my walls, didn't sleep because I was too busy panicking about said insects, and went out first thing today and bought an insect screen for my window. Unfortunately, I'm still sleeping on a bare mattress (because the bugs were in my sheets too, so those got stripped, but I couldn't wash them today because somebody broke the washroom, which is an entirely different story).
To make things even better, guess what I learned today? Here's the conversation:
"Hey Tina, that is a giant spider outside your window!"
"I know, it's been living there all year. Thank god for this bug screen."
"Yeah, wow, and...HOLY CRAP THAT SPIDER."
"What?"
"It's venemous!"
"Are you fucking kidding me? I just sucked about 8 thousand bugs off the ceiling and now I have a venemous spider living outside my window?"
"Yeah."
"How many kinds of venemous spiders are there in Germany?"
"One."
"THAT ONE."
"Yeah."
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
"No."
"Crap."
So, the one type of venemous spider that exists in this country has currently made it's home right outside my window. this would be him To say that I'm having insect issues is a bit of a (gross) understatement.
In other (weird) news, my German grammar class occasionally gets taught by students who are pursuing careers in German-as-a-foreign-language, and guess what today's lesson was on? "Tolerance in Germany." Except the two students teaching spent an hour and a half talking about how people in Germany hate foreigners, showed us a film about a German woman cursing off foreigners, asked us if we had personally had any experience with Germans hating foreigners, and gave us a list of vocabulary to learn. So today, Uni Konstanz paid for me to learn such words as "Nigger" "Welfare Queen" "Poor People Who Have Too Many Children And Suck Our Taxes," "Poor People Who Don't Work And Suck All Our Taxes," "Poor People Who Do Work And Suck All Our Jobs (And Probably Our Taxes As Well)." I'm not even kidding. We seriously learned "nigger" and other really bad words for black people and foreigners in German.
The film they showed us was particularly bizarre. In it a young black man sits down on a bus next to an old woman. Begin woman's tirade first against blacks, then against Turks and Italians, then against everyone who's not a native German The tirade goes on for like ten minutes, cue in some really really hideous language (that we got quizzed on using our vocab sheet) and all through it the black guy doesn't say anything at all. Then the conductor comes around asking for the tickets. When the (still ranting) lady pulls out hers, the black kid grabs it out of her hands, puts it in his mouth, and eats it. The old lady tries to explain to the conductor that "the black man ate it," but she gets thrown off the train.
Moral of the story: Practice tolerance, or minorities will eat your important documents.
Then we all had to get in groups and reenact the film for the whole class. Read: curse each other up and down in German while two German students sat in the back of the class and congratulated us on our use of the vocabulary. We had to use quotes from the film, including "You don't have an invitation to come here," "We don't need Africans," and "All blacks have AIDS."
Germany has ceased to be different. I think most of you will agree with me when I say this country is just weird.
Anyway, adios amigos.
P.S. Your Insight Into German Culture/ Quote of the Day
"So, can you help me with this one? I don't understand why Germany is so into public displays of affection. Like seriously, laying on top of each other in the middle of the square and hard-core making out? I just don't get it."
"Did they have their clothes on?"
"Mostly."
"Well, what's the problem then?"
12 May 2008
sex toys, and the 80's come back with a vengeance
First things first: watch out America, the mullet is back, and it is coming your way. I know this is probably not welcome news to most of you, but rest assured that I have seen some particularly sweet variations, including dying the back part hot pink.
So, Stuttgart! The capital of Baden-Wuerttemberg was pretty cool, even though we picked the only two straight days to go that everything would be closed. But no worries! It turned out to be quite alot of fun. After arriving, I voted for taking a taxi to the hostel, got vetoed, and predicted that we would spend at least an hour walking around trying to find the place (which is what happened.) But it worked out, because we stopped to ask a really crazy-looking chick for directions, who, after pointing us vaguely along the right path, said "After you guys find the place, you should come meet me and some friends in front of the theater, we're going to be *insert German verb I didn't understand here.*"
So we did. Finally found the hostel, threw our crap down, and made our way to the theater where we met up Crazy-Looking Chick And Friends, and guess what they were doing? Juggling! And they of course wanted to know if any of us could juggle, which meant Tina got to demonstrate Sweet Juggling Skills, plus then we all got advice on tourist-y things to do. And that was how we made friends with a group of German jugglers.
For the rest of the day we didn't really do much, just ran around like morons in the grounds of the castles. That night we all decided to go out, but everyone took like 8 million years deciding on a place to go to (but we got whistled at by guys with hot pink mullets, which was really just special.). I found us a gay bar, a student bar, and an australian bar, and got voted down every time, until finally we found a place. It was quite nice actually, with really good cocktails, and on the way out I stopped to use the bathroom. Everything else was in use, so I just went into the handicapped bathroom, and what do I find there but a sex-toy vending machine.
For only five Euros, I could have taken my pick between a mini-vibrator, a vibrating ring, or a "surprise toy". But I was mostly just curious as to, is a) why was there a sex-toy vending machine in the first place, b) why was it only in the handicapped bathroom and c) what was the surprise toy?
I just don't understand. Seriously, the handicapped bathroom? They didn't even put ones in the other stalls for good measure, and I know because I checked (which, let me tell you, makes you feel a little uncomfortable on the inside.) I can't figure out why the bar would put a sex toy vending machine only there; like, do people frequently use the bigger stall to outlet their alcohol induced lust, and the bar thought maybe they could make a little cash off it? Or are they making some sort of bizarre statement?
Germany is weird.
So, Stuttgart! The capital of Baden-Wuerttemberg was pretty cool, even though we picked the only two straight days to go that everything would be closed. But no worries! It turned out to be quite alot of fun. After arriving, I voted for taking a taxi to the hostel, got vetoed, and predicted that we would spend at least an hour walking around trying to find the place (which is what happened.) But it worked out, because we stopped to ask a really crazy-looking chick for directions, who, after pointing us vaguely along the right path, said "After you guys find the place, you should come meet me and some friends in front of the theater, we're going to be *insert German verb I didn't understand here.*"
So we did. Finally found the hostel, threw our crap down, and made our way to the theater where we met up Crazy-Looking Chick And Friends, and guess what they were doing? Juggling! And they of course wanted to know if any of us could juggle, which meant Tina got to demonstrate Sweet Juggling Skills, plus then we all got advice on tourist-y things to do. And that was how we made friends with a group of German jugglers.
For the rest of the day we didn't really do much, just ran around like morons in the grounds of the castles. That night we all decided to go out, but everyone took like 8 million years deciding on a place to go to (but we got whistled at by guys with hot pink mullets, which was really just special.). I found us a gay bar, a student bar, and an australian bar, and got voted down every time, until finally we found a place. It was quite nice actually, with really good cocktails, and on the way out I stopped to use the bathroom. Everything else was in use, so I just went into the handicapped bathroom, and what do I find there but a sex-toy vending machine.
For only five Euros, I could have taken my pick between a mini-vibrator, a vibrating ring, or a "surprise toy". But I was mostly just curious as to, is a) why was there a sex-toy vending machine in the first place, b) why was it only in the handicapped bathroom and c) what was the surprise toy?
I just don't understand. Seriously, the handicapped bathroom? They didn't even put ones in the other stalls for good measure, and I know because I checked (which, let me tell you, makes you feel a little uncomfortable on the inside.) I can't figure out why the bar would put a sex toy vending machine only there; like, do people frequently use the bigger stall to outlet their alcohol induced lust, and the bar thought maybe they could make a little cash off it? Or are they making some sort of bizarre statement?
Germany is weird.
10 May 2008
You asked...I answer!
- Yo!
So, here are the answers to your deep, dark questions:
- Q: what are classes like?...format?...
- A: Classes are here meet once a week for an hour and a half, and it's ridiculously confusing because you can take them for a grade or for only credits, or for a grade towards a certain major, and classes are worth different amounts of credits. Besides making you want to bash your head against the wall, this ensures that Germany has the highest rate of foreign-student-drop outs.
The classes that I'm taking really only require papers, essays and oral presentations. It must really suck for the German students, because they have to take like nine classes a semester or something ridiculous like that, but for us foreigners, it's pretty nice.
Q: anything you don't like about Germany?
A: Yeah, here's a list:
1) not to be stereotypical, but the french kids really aren't that friendly.
2) adjective endings and two-way prepositions make me want to shoot myself in the face.
3) the German love of beverage carbonation. Seriously, who else who carbonates apple juice? Nobody. Because it sucks.
4) that everything (from clothes to food to sunscreen) is way more expensive here.
5) that you can only get four types of salad dressing EVER. three, once you take out yoghurt, because honestly, who puts joghurt on their salad? Nobody. Because it sucks.
6) that you can't cross the street when the little light's not green without somebody going "You really shouldn't do that, my friend of a friend's aunt's cousin twice removed got fined by the polizei for that." Everyone seems to know someone who's been fined, but nobody's actually been fined.
7) how German dialects are practically unintelligible to each other, and completely unintelligibe to me.
8) that 90% of the movies are american with synchronized german voices.
9) that 90% of the music is in English
10) that there's only two busses that go to the Uni. You have never seen a bus packed until you've been here. rutgers people, think double EE times ten. Everybody else, think clown car.
11) German love of collateral. You can't get a drink without having to pay so much extra money that you'll get back only when you prove you haven't stolen the glass.
12) the German 'r'. it's the same 'r' they have in french, and I just can't do the back-of-the-throat-r-madness. I sound like an animal dying, and I get laughed at.
- Q: How much has your German improved?
- A: Bleh. My program director says it's gotten better, but I think she's lying to me. I think it's gotten worse, if that's possible. Or at least it seems like it has, because you don't realize how much you suck until everybody else talks really really fast and in dialect. Our program director says we have to take alot of time to just absorb, and then you really start talking, but again, I think she's lying. When people are talking to me, I can pretty much understand almost all of what they're saying, but when they're talking to each other, I'm totally lost about 50 percent of the time, mostly lost about 30 percent of the time, and somewhat lost about 15 percent of the time. The other 5 percent of the time, I get it, but only with a five-minute delay in comprehension.
Q: Any more near faux pas from misunderstanding a native German's intent (i.e., prepubescent boys "propositioning" you?
A: Nope, nothing that extreme, but I do get words mixed up all the time and get laughed at. Like the difference between "to move" and "to apply", somehow I get the words mixed up every single time.
Q: Have you gone back to that Aikido school in Konstanz, and has your training experience improved?
A: I haven't, and I'm not sure if I will, I might just hold out for America.
Q: You haven't talked too much about differences in cuisine...how is the German food? Tried any traditional dishes?
A: German food is actually pretty good, I've had one or two regional dishes and I've tried wurst, and that's pretty much it. The ice cream is REALLY good (do we have Straciatella flavor in the US? I don't think so, but it's seriously the best ice cream flavor ever.), and the chocolate is awesome, and I pretty much survive on the yoghurt.
Q: are you still a whore
A: Your mom.
Q: how many historic places have you desecrated by dacing abnoxiously in them
A: None! I'm waiting for a certain retarded friend to get here before I Desecrate By Dance.
Q: did you bring dragon and have you and if so why has he not been in any of your pictures
A: Of course, he's sitting on the shelf staring at me as I write this, and make sure you bring the duck.
Q: did my package ever arive to you
A: No, has it been returned to you? Did you mail it to the right country?
Q: have you met heidi klum and if so have you told her about her stiff compition (that would be me)
A: I met Heidi Klum and showed her a picture of you, and she said you would be a great hidden-potential model. This means that you could be excellent, but only if you're exceptionally well-hidden/not in the picture at all.
Q: Seriously...just how outrageously priced are trebuchets? Do you think you could ship one?
A: http://cgi.ebay.com/Bretonisches-Trebuchet_W0QQitemZ320247830547QQihZ011QQcategoryZ8655QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
This one is only 18.30 Euro, which is pretty decent, I think. Unfortunately, the bidding on this item has ended.
- Q: are all germans completely obsessed with weird sex? and like...what kind of weird sex?
- A: I don't know (I haven't personally investigated), but the largest monument in the city is a giant statue on the harbor of a prostitute holding the pope and the kaiser. http://www.konstanz-shop.de/shopdata/images/Imperia_Luftbild_530x375.jpg
http://www.oesterreich-radreisen.at/wartung/images/upload/Imperia.jpg- Surely that has to mean something.
- Q: and what's up with talking about jews there? is it like not allowed?
- A: I honestly don't know. From what I've seen/heard, I don't think it's a taboo topic so to speak, but I don't think that people wake up in the morning and say "You know? I feel like discussing Auschwitz with everyone I know today." I've definitely heard it referenced in classes and such, but as to what people actually think about things, I don't know, it's not something I've asked about. But the Germans are pretty mad tolerant.
Alright, so those were Your Questions Take One! Hopefully that was helpful/you learned some new interesting things. We're off to Stuttgart for two days, so I will see you all Tuesday.
Adios!
P.S. new favorite song: http://youtube.com/watch?v=DtKhFaW2Z1E
08 May 2008
What do YOU want to know?
Dear Everyone,
So I keep getting requests for more information on certain aspects of life/activities around here (so far these have mainly been horses and aikido.) But I thought in the spirit of democracy and helping friends procrastinate from studying for finals, I would open up the floor to you: my question, therefore, is what do you guys want to know?
Who's got deep dark questions about anything related to anything relating to my present situation? Whatever you want to know, no matter how mundane, ridiculous or not-child-friendly, I solemly swear to answer it truthfully and in full, cross my heart. I promise to answer anything and everything, no matter what.
Feel free to abuse my trust in your good judgement.
Love,
Me
P.S. Here is Your Quick Insight To German Culture (aka, Quote of the Day):
"Did you ever play hide-and-seek as a kid?"
"Yes, but it would be too easy to play it now."
"Why is that?"
"You would find me in the Biergarten."
"Well aren't you a good German."
So I keep getting requests for more information on certain aspects of life/activities around here (so far these have mainly been horses and aikido.) But I thought in the spirit of democracy and helping friends procrastinate from studying for finals, I would open up the floor to you: my question, therefore, is what do you guys want to know?
Who's got deep dark questions about anything related to anything relating to my present situation? Whatever you want to know, no matter how mundane, ridiculous or not-child-friendly, I solemly swear to answer it truthfully and in full, cross my heart. I promise to answer anything and everything, no matter what.
Feel free to abuse my trust in your good judgement.
Love,
Me
P.S. Here is Your Quick Insight To German Culture (aka, Quote of the Day):
"Did you ever play hide-and-seek as a kid?"
"Yes, but it would be too easy to play it now."
"Why is that?"
"You would find me in the Biergarten."
"Well aren't you a good German."
07 May 2008
I love vodka
Thank goodness for alcohol is all I have to say on the matter. Ears are like 8 billion percent better, and I give Wodka Gorbatschow all the credit. The only downside is that after soaking my ears in the stuff, my entire room smells like a frat party.
Going to Europapark on Friday! SO EXCITED! http://www.europapark.de/lang-en/c51/default.html. Except I don't exactly know what it is, but it looks like something along the lines of Six Flags meets Epcot, but with more Germans.
Had a barbeque over the weekend (and taught the Germans how to roast marshmallows), and grilling again tomorrow with the equestrian team. Bought new shoes today because my other ones fell apart, and the new ones have kangaroos on them, which makes me exceptionally happy.
Hopefully going to Heidelberg and Stuttgart over the weekend.
Out of a complete lack of anything interesting to share with you, I thought I might detail Five Ways I've Changed Since Getting Here. Whatever. It's sappy, and I don't care. It's also 1 am, and I'm high on vodka fumes, and therefore not responsible for my own actions.
Anyway, whatever:
1) I Eat Food
For actually. I seek out salad, I add vegetables to my pasta, and I turn down dishes that don't have enough broccoli in them. I also eat yoghurt like air. Still barely touch fruit, but have definitely made strides in the vegetable aisle.
2) I'm Like 8 Billion Times More Outgoing
Or at least, I think I am. I make friends like everywhere, and I do it in a foreign language. Props to me. I'll pretty much talk to anyone and everyone.
3) The Freak-Out Tolerance Has Been Considerably Upped
Germany loves naked people. Germany loves sex. Germany loves alcohol. Germany loves all of these combined into one after-midnight television show. Tina has stopped noticing.
Really, when you're the only person in the swimming pool wearing something slightly more covering than a speedo (or just wearing something at all), you really become immune to these sorts of things. You have to, or else you'll attempt to drown yourself in the kiddie pool.
4) I've Been German-ofied
At least a little bit. You can't be here for two months without mastering some sweet German moves, like holding onto the traffic light post for balance on your bike while waiting for the light to change, so that you can get across the street two seconds faster (and, of course, you don't jaywalk. Ever.) Also, I sort trash into four (to six) trash cans, knock on the tables at the end of classes, and navigate the labyrinth bureaucracy that is this entire country (which involves the assistance of 8 different offices spread across town, each of which is only open for 2 hours a day, at precisely the same time as all the other necessary offices which are also, conveniently, right when I have class.) Sometimes, I even tell myself that such bureaucracy is necessary for an efficient life, at least until I realize what I'm saying, and then I go bash my head on a wall.
5) I'm Punctual
Like really, really punctual. Like To The Minute sort of punctual. Like If The Bus Is More Than Sixty Seconds Late I Curse The Terrible German Transportation System And Walk sort of punctual. I forsee huge readjustment difficulties in this area when I get back to the US.
Anyway, I promise next time I'll be more creative/tell you something interesting. Adios!
Going to Europapark on Friday! SO EXCITED! http://www.europapark.de/lang-en/c51/default.html. Except I don't exactly know what it is, but it looks like something along the lines of Six Flags meets Epcot, but with more Germans.
Had a barbeque over the weekend (and taught the Germans how to roast marshmallows), and grilling again tomorrow with the equestrian team. Bought new shoes today because my other ones fell apart, and the new ones have kangaroos on them, which makes me exceptionally happy.
Hopefully going to Heidelberg and Stuttgart over the weekend.
Out of a complete lack of anything interesting to share with you, I thought I might detail Five Ways I've Changed Since Getting Here. Whatever. It's sappy, and I don't care. It's also 1 am, and I'm high on vodka fumes, and therefore not responsible for my own actions.
Anyway, whatever:
1) I Eat Food
For actually. I seek out salad, I add vegetables to my pasta, and I turn down dishes that don't have enough broccoli in them. I also eat yoghurt like air. Still barely touch fruit, but have definitely made strides in the vegetable aisle.
2) I'm Like 8 Billion Times More Outgoing
Or at least, I think I am. I make friends like everywhere, and I do it in a foreign language. Props to me. I'll pretty much talk to anyone and everyone.
3) The Freak-Out Tolerance Has Been Considerably Upped
Germany loves naked people. Germany loves sex. Germany loves alcohol. Germany loves all of these combined into one after-midnight television show. Tina has stopped noticing.
Really, when you're the only person in the swimming pool wearing something slightly more covering than a speedo (or just wearing something at all), you really become immune to these sorts of things. You have to, or else you'll attempt to drown yourself in the kiddie pool.
4) I've Been German-ofied
At least a little bit. You can't be here for two months without mastering some sweet German moves, like holding onto the traffic light post for balance on your bike while waiting for the light to change, so that you can get across the street two seconds faster (and, of course, you don't jaywalk. Ever.) Also, I sort trash into four (to six) trash cans, knock on the tables at the end of classes, and navigate the labyrinth bureaucracy that is this entire country (which involves the assistance of 8 different offices spread across town, each of which is only open for 2 hours a day, at precisely the same time as all the other necessary offices which are also, conveniently, right when I have class.) Sometimes, I even tell myself that such bureaucracy is necessary for an efficient life, at least until I realize what I'm saying, and then I go bash my head on a wall.
5) I'm Punctual
Like really, really punctual. Like To The Minute sort of punctual. Like If The Bus Is More Than Sixty Seconds Late I Curse The Terrible German Transportation System And Walk sort of punctual. I forsee huge readjustment difficulties in this area when I get back to the US.
Anyway, I promise next time I'll be more creative/tell you something interesting. Adios!
05 May 2008
Tina Loses Her Wallet Again, And Other Short Stories Not Good Enough To Blog About, But That I'll Blog About Anyway
To commemorate the one month anniversary (to the day) of losing my wallet, I celebrated by losing my wallet again. Before you all commence freaking out on me, let me tell you the story first:
I was in the laundry room doing laundry (duh), and when I put my waschraum cards back in my wallet, I guess I forgot to put said wallet in my purse. An hour later I realized what I'd done, freaked out, and ran back to the laundry room, but of course the wallet was gone. I immediately made signs and hung them on the door of the laundry room and in the elevator. Twenty minutes of panic later I decided to search the laundry room just one more time. I walked in, and this girl pointed at me and said "Are you the one...?" "Yeah," I said. "Give me ten minutes," she said, "I've got it upstairs."
Thank you Karma.
Thanks to New Colombian Wallet Saving Friend, I got my wallet back. I tried to give her food, but she wouldn't take it. Okay, now you may commence freaking out on me.
____________________________________________________________________
I would like to issue a blanket warning to anyone who may wish to marry (or date or be friends with or avoid) CR in the future, because the girl is a beast in the kitchen, and by beast I mean raging kleptomaniac. Kitchen Klepto (formerly known as CR) managed to hide the oven pans (not the racks this time) so well, it took me a solid ten minutes to find them. Don't worry Kitchen Klepto, as opposed to leaving the oven pans in their convenient kitchen storage place next to the oven, I too think it's a better idea to hide them on the ground in the pantry under the stacks of shelves and up against the back wall where other people have to get down on their hands and knees with a flashlight to find them. This way, when robbers or zombies come, we'll be able to sneak out while they're still trying to find something to bake cookies with.
____________________________________________________________________
Both my ears (especially the one the ladies messed up on) have been red and hurting, and I think they're getting infected. The stupid bottle of drops those ladies made by buy for 2 Euros hasn't been helping at all, and the last thing I want to do is try navgiating the German health care system. So today, on advice from a Slovakian friend of mine, I went out and bought new stuff to put on my ears. Personally, I think the fact that I'm currently soaking the sides of my head in vodka more than makes up for the girly tendencies that lead me to poke holes in my ears in the first place.
____________________________________________________________________
I almost got hit by a pigeon today.
____________________________________________________________________
Beer mixed drinks are actually really good. This is completely unrelated to me almost getting hit by a pigeon.
____________________________________________________________________
Peace out amigos!
I was in the laundry room doing laundry (duh), and when I put my waschraum cards back in my wallet, I guess I forgot to put said wallet in my purse. An hour later I realized what I'd done, freaked out, and ran back to the laundry room, but of course the wallet was gone. I immediately made signs and hung them on the door of the laundry room and in the elevator. Twenty minutes of panic later I decided to search the laundry room just one more time. I walked in, and this girl pointed at me and said "Are you the one...?" "Yeah," I said. "Give me ten minutes," she said, "I've got it upstairs."
Thank you Karma.
Thanks to New Colombian Wallet Saving Friend, I got my wallet back. I tried to give her food, but she wouldn't take it. Okay, now you may commence freaking out on me.
____________________________________________________________________
I would like to issue a blanket warning to anyone who may wish to marry (or date or be friends with or avoid) CR in the future, because the girl is a beast in the kitchen, and by beast I mean raging kleptomaniac. Kitchen Klepto (formerly known as CR) managed to hide the oven pans (not the racks this time) so well, it took me a solid ten minutes to find them. Don't worry Kitchen Klepto, as opposed to leaving the oven pans in their convenient kitchen storage place next to the oven, I too think it's a better idea to hide them on the ground in the pantry under the stacks of shelves and up against the back wall where other people have to get down on their hands and knees with a flashlight to find them. This way, when robbers or zombies come, we'll be able to sneak out while they're still trying to find something to bake cookies with.
____________________________________________________________________
Both my ears (especially the one the ladies messed up on) have been red and hurting, and I think they're getting infected. The stupid bottle of drops those ladies made by buy for 2 Euros hasn't been helping at all, and the last thing I want to do is try navgiating the German health care system. So today, on advice from a Slovakian friend of mine, I went out and bought new stuff to put on my ears. Personally, I think the fact that I'm currently soaking the sides of my head in vodka more than makes up for the girly tendencies that lead me to poke holes in my ears in the first place.
____________________________________________________________________
I almost got hit by a pigeon today.
____________________________________________________________________
Beer mixed drinks are actually really good. This is completely unrelated to me almost getting hit by a pigeon.
____________________________________________________________________
Peace out amigos!
03 May 2008
New Words
A brief conversation that I had with Sungmi on the bus today:
SM: "You know, you've taught me alot of good English words."
Me: "Yeah? Like what?"
SM: "Like 'sweet.'"
Me: "Okay."
SM: "'Awesome.'"
Me: "Good."
SM: "'I'm going to kick your ass.'"
Me: "Oh."
SM: "'Whore.'"
Me: "Wow, look, our bus stop."
In my defense, it's that whole lack-of-Asian-distinction-between-the r/l thing, and I could only take so much of "Tina, why do you have a whore in your shoe?" before I had to stop and fix it.
SM: "You know, you've taught me alot of good English words."
Me: "Yeah? Like what?"
SM: "Like 'sweet.'"
Me: "Okay."
SM: "'Awesome.'"
Me: "Good."
SM: "'I'm going to kick your ass.'"
Me: "Oh."
SM: "'Whore.'"
Me: "Wow, look, our bus stop."
In my defense, it's that whole lack-of-Asian-distinction-between-the r/l thing, and I could only take so much of "Tina, why do you have a whore in your shoe?" before I had to stop and fix it.
01 May 2008
Monkey Mountain
So the first of May is some holiday or what not in Germany, which meant NO CLASSES! And celebrating in style.
The party started last night when Fabio and I decided to head over to the Uni for a Uni Party. Except when we got there, we discovered we were the only two people at said "party", and had to wait around for over an hour before the next bus came. And (go figure) on the way back to Europahaus I found a wallet (Hello Karma, it's nice to run into you again). The girl had her address inside it, so this morning we drove to her house, found her, and gave it back (you see, dirty money-from-wallet thieves, THIS is how you do it.) She was so excited and happy, and as we were getting in the car, she came running out with a box of chocolates. So not only did we score Karma points/do a good deed, we got chocolate too.
Then it was off to Affenberg! http://www.affenberg-salem.de/ Which literally translates into "Monkey Mountain," because that's what it was. You climb up and there's all these big monkeys running around, and they come and sit on the railing and you can feed them popcorn (which was awesome). They're like seriously monkey machines though, like they know how to work the crowds. They also have deer and storks, which are really cool if you've never seen one up close. Here are some monkey pictures:
If that's not America's Next Top Model material, I don't know what is.
Then we went to Ueberlingen which was alot of fun, got ice cream, and ran around the town. Weather was wonderful, so we played frisbee, flew kites, and tried to go swimming (read: wading) in the Bodensee, but realized it needs at least another month to warm up. After we got back to Konstanz, we cooked crazy German potato food (which is so typically German: it's potatoes, oil, aLOT of cheese, and, just so that your arteries don't revolt completely and deliberately slash a hole in the lifeboat, there's like 2 pieces of broccoli and a carrot in there somewhere. Possible variations: adding bacon, adding more cheese, adding less vegetables.)
All in all, an excellent first day of May, here's to hoping the weather stays this awesome!
and here is Your Quick Insight To German Culture (aka, Quote of the Day):
"We can't fly your kite, there's no wind."
"Could you maybe try for a little bit of optimism?"
"I am being optimistic. There might be a bratwurst stand in the next hundred meters."
"Christ, you Germans."
The party started last night when Fabio and I decided to head over to the Uni for a Uni Party. Except when we got there, we discovered we were the only two people at said "party", and had to wait around for over an hour before the next bus came. And (go figure) on the way back to Europahaus I found a wallet (Hello Karma, it's nice to run into you again). The girl had her address inside it, so this morning we drove to her house, found her, and gave it back (you see, dirty money-from-wallet thieves, THIS is how you do it.) She was so excited and happy, and as we were getting in the car, she came running out with a box of chocolates. So not only did we score Karma points/do a good deed, we got chocolate too.
Then it was off to Affenberg! http://www.affenberg-salem.de/ Which literally translates into "Monkey Mountain," because that's what it was. You climb up and there's all these big monkeys running around, and they come and sit on the railing and you can feed them popcorn (which was awesome). They're like seriously monkey machines though, like they know how to work the crowds. They also have deer and storks, which are really cool if you've never seen one up close. Here are some monkey pictures:
If that's not America's Next Top Model material, I don't know what is.Then we went to Ueberlingen which was alot of fun, got ice cream, and ran around the town. Weather was wonderful, so we played frisbee, flew kites, and tried to go swimming (read: wading) in the Bodensee, but realized it needs at least another month to warm up. After we got back to Konstanz, we cooked crazy German potato food (which is so typically German: it's potatoes, oil, aLOT of cheese, and, just so that your arteries don't revolt completely and deliberately slash a hole in the lifeboat, there's like 2 pieces of broccoli and a carrot in there somewhere. Possible variations: adding bacon, adding more cheese, adding less vegetables.)
All in all, an excellent first day of May, here's to hoping the weather stays this awesome!
and here is Your Quick Insight To German Culture (aka, Quote of the Day):
"We can't fly your kite, there's no wind."
"Could you maybe try for a little bit of optimism?"
"I am being optimistic. There might be a bratwurst stand in the next hundred meters."
"Christ, you Germans."
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