As if we needed further proof that the universe hates me, a (new) Icelandic volcano has decided to royally screw up air travel across parts of western Europe, mainly, England and Germany. Joyous, joyous occasion. My host mom says that this is a good omen, because the last au pair they had (that they loved) arrived a day after the airports reopened after the first Iceland volcano. I say, control your stupid magma already. Meanwhile, scientists are busy telling CNN that this eruption won't be nearly as bad as last year's. However, scientists also once tried to cure malaria, and ended up inventing the color mauve instead, a discovery which, in some circles, is known as an "epic fail."
Dear Iceland,
I have not suffered, bled, and cried though an entire year of "where are my bizkits," "can I get some more scrimps," and "stop leaning over my food, homie," only to be fucked over at the last minute by your goddamned volcanoes that can't keep their goddamned volcanic enthusiasm to themselves. If you mess up my flight, I will personally come over there and shoot every single one of your polar bears, in the face.
Love,
Tina
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