28 June 2013

The Peep Peep Story

So I'm going to get back to England recapping tomorrow, but I have a somewhat-entertaining story of the day for you.

I live in what is frequently considered the "ghetto" of Göttingen, usually so labeled by people who have never traveled far enough away from Rich White Europe to actually see a ghetto. In fact, so great is the discrepancy between where I live and what I consider to be a ghetto that I actually included it in a blog post.

So that's the setting for this story: my non ghetto.

Yesterday I walked out of my apartment and heard hysterical screaming. I looked around confused, thinking maybe someone was yelling at the Roma kids, but no, it was an African lady who lives in an aprtment across the street yelling her head off in my general direction. As I unlocked my bike, I got treated to the magical soundtrack of her screaming, "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE. GO FUCK YOURSELF, LORD KNOWS I WON'T," and so on and so forth.

Looking around, I didn't see anyone she could possibly be yelling at, except for one of my neighbors down the street. I pushed my bike over to her and asked her if she knew what was up. She immediately starting laughing and said," You don't even want to know." "Try me," I said. "For starters, who is she yelling at?" "She's yelling at the guy who lives next door to you, second floor." Ahhh, I figured. This was probably a racism issue. My old German neighbors have not distinguished themselves as the most tolerant of other ethnic groups.

"So what did he say to her?" I asked. "Say? He didn't say anything. He went to her." "He went where?" "To her." "To yell at her?" "No, Tina, he went to her." "Okay. Why did he do that?" "To see her." "I don't understand." "To make some peep peep." "What the hell is peep peep?" "SEX, Tina. He had sex with her and won't pay her."

And that's how I found out the African ladies across the street are apparently operating an informal brothel. Moral of the story: pay your prostitute or she'll make sure the whole neighborhood knows about it. Sista's makin' dem Benjamins with the peep peep.

The End.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this the neighbor I think it is?

Anonymous said...

Nope, different one!

bevchen said...

Peep peep? WHat? That is THE worst euphimism for sex EVER!

Anonymous said...

Easter peeps will never again look the same to me

Old Roomie said...

Well, your predecessor told me about it, too... Didn't believe it then but well, maybe it is true in the end...

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

Is this real life? I'm dying right now hahahahah so glad you were inquisitive.