Ah, horse shows.

Nothing like a German horse show (where everyone is tall, blond, and wearing tight pants and tall boots) to make you feel less like the exotic black swan you tell yourself you are, and more like a short, chunky, Mediterranean monkey.

I'm exhausted.  I'm sunburnt.  I forgot to eat.  I spoke so much German my brain hurts. There was no shade.  Around 4 pm, dehydration punched me in the face with a headache so wicked, I could barely see, and there was no respite until 10 PM, when I came home and was like, "Sorry Host Parents, love to chat, but I need to consume a liter of water and two Advil before I die."  So all in all, it was a really successful horse show, and I had a blast!

I learned much this horse show (aside from vocabulary), the highlights of which I have arranged below in list form for convenient reading:

--I walked a cross-country course, which I'd never done before.  In between gawking at the four foot tall tree trunk the competitors had to jump over, and listening to stories about "oh, hey, remember that one time that horse fell on the fence, cut itself open, and bled to death on the field?" I realized I am not, have never been, and never will be, brave enough to jump fences that don't fall if you hit them.  When it comes down to you versus Four Feet Tree Trunk, and you mess up, I'll give you a hint at who the winner is: not you.  When I told Riding Friend this, she said "It's all about having a trusting relationship with your horse."  However, I trusted Austin to do a lot of things, but "carrying me over giant logs" was not one of them.  It also probably didn't help that he was terrified of things you normally find on a cross-country course, such as trees.  Final verdict: protective riding gear my ass, I'll stick to my colorful poles and collapsible fences.

--I was surprised, yet again, by how many men ride in Germany.  SO MANY OF THEM.  It was downright distracting.

--95% of the trailers were 2 horse, and the only ones larger than that were vans.  Also, the Germans have made them lighter and more fuel-efficient by doing away with the frivolities packed into American trailers, such as safety padding.  Because when the half-ton animal in the enclosed metal box decides to freak out, it's much better he does it in an aluminum death-trap sans anything that would save him from cutting himself/you open and bleeding to death in the trailer.  Wouldn't want to mess up the padding, you know.  Better to do without.

--The ribbon colors are completely different, which lead to my complete and utter confusion when the winning team was handed third place ribbons.  Instead of going blue, red, yellow, white, pink, green, like American horse show ribbons, German ribbons go gold, silver, white, blue, red, green.  So when the Celle team came in fourth, and was somewhat disappointed with their blue ribbons, I said (helpfully, I thought), "Don't worry, that means you won in America.  Just tell everyone that's where you competed today."

--The riding outfits are different.  I saw only white breeches, no tan ones, and not a single tall boot with laces on it.  Also, the riding jackets aren't like ours, they're 100% polyester and feel like a real jacket.  Also, only white shirts.  Also, not a single GPA.  Also, no animals dyed colors.

--If I ever compete in a German horse show, a little American flag will appear next to my name when I ride.

That's all I can think of right now!  If you're dying to know anything in particular about the horse show that I forgot to mention, hit me up in the comments and I'll get back to you.

Adios!
Tina