Olá!
Hold on to your petticoats, because I have an important announcement to make: I am officially Portuguese.
That's right, for better or for worse, there is one more Portuguese person on the planet, and that person is me. The consulate has come through, and I am holding my brand-spankin-new birth certificate, that identifies me as a member of the great, albeit slightly-past-it's-prime, nation of Portugal. And as it turns out, the whole process was relatively painless! The hardest part was trying to get the consulate on the phone. After that, it was just a matter of showing up with some papers, signing some other papers, telling everyone of my plans to study in the great, totally-not-past-it's-prime nation of Portugal, and then forking over $372.39. And now I belong to the same country that produced Magellan, the lobotomy, and the transatlantic slave trade. Go me!
So, what does this mean for me? Not actually much. The way I see it, my new dual-citizen status afford me several perks in life, these being:
--I can now live and work anywhere in Europe without jumping through the imploding hoops the Germans call the visa, but the rest of the world calls the "black pit of death, despair, and red tape. Abandon all hope ye who enter here."
--I can get in the EU express line at airports.
--I can vote in important elections that determine the fate of nations, such as the Eurovision Song Contest.
In addition:
--My dad will be mad at me, and accuse me of only being Portuguese when I find it convenient, which is entirely true, except I like to call it "shamelessly taking advantage of all available resources in order to lead a more kickass life."
--If I date a celebrity, Portuguese magazines will applaud that celebrity's excellent taste**.
--If I die in a plane crash or a shipwreck or something, Portuguese newspapers will count me among the 3 Portuguese dead, and bemoan my fate in a language I understand barely, and even then, only when I deem it useful.
EPIC WIN!
It doesn't sound like much, but for someone planning on living, working, studying, and travelling in Europe as much as I am, EU citizenship is like the Holy Grail of Everything, except more practical and Jesus doesn't make a habit of bleeding on it. Now if you'll excuse me, to celebrate my citizenship, I'm going to go do really Portuguese things, like lay bricks, eat octopus, and slap my wife around.
Adeus!
**looking in your general direction, Hugh Jackman
7 comments:
Your first duty as a voting citizen is to support Latvia in the next Eurovision Song Contest. They put on an excellent showing in 2008 with this little number and didn't win because some idiots decided that pirates weren't cool enough! So please do what I cannot and support your Latvian Wolves of the Sea!
omg tina thanks lol i needed a laugh seeing as how these have been the events of my past week
1) woke up w soar throat that ended up being bronchitis doctors says go home take your meds stay out of air conditioning (bad for lungs uncomfortable w fever)
2) due to the problem of fever and ac i decided to sleep with windows open. I was bit by a spider and as the whole world knows i am allergic. go figure i go to bolivia twice! twice woman and the giant monster steroid spiders never came near me. But I get bit and go anaphylactic here!!!
3) I keep getting hit on by people i have no intrest in.
4) i am upset because I cant go to work and i sit at home all day waiting for my lungs to heal after feeling like i have a had a sledgehammer slammed into my chest. so i now sit and read your blog and my day gets better so i will celebrate to your chopness even though i personally think that i am probably more chop than you are!!! yay holy grail!!1
Zack: Oh. my. god. yes.
Jovi: Woman! You are without a doubt more chop than I am, however, you are currently being attacked by spiders and creepy men. FIX THAT BEFORE YOU DIE. Love, Me :D
MY TURN MY TURN! Ew. Please don't eat the octopus. I thought we bonded over our hatred for the suction cups.
-Amy
Awesome news, Tina! I wish it was that easy for me to get the US citizenship!! :-)
My dad wants to know if you now have to devote any of your future paycheck towards the Portuguese/EU version of social security, medicare, or any other tax issues that we're supposed to care about as sort-of-adults now.
nope! because when I get a real job with real paychecks, the german government will be taking out something in the neighborhood of 50% of it, for taxes and social security and medicine and cheap universities and so on. So Portugal can bite me because nobody likes them.
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