Weekend and Hengstparade!

Yesterday afternoon I went into town to meet up with some couchsurfers who found me on the internet and were like "yo, let's meet up."  It was hugely fun, and I can't wait to get together again.  There were three Germans and another American there, but she speaks most excellent German and we got along swimmingly.  I also discovered that while I was sleeping, I magically developed the ability to not only keep up with group conversations in real-time, but to participate in them as well.  I can even makes jokes and people actually laugh!  I also learned lots of new and excellent words from the other American, who is doing an exchange year at a German high school.  These words included such useful specimens as abgefucked (totally sucked ass), bekifft (to be stoned), der Ziegel (brick), and steinigen (to stone someone to death).  Don't ask me how any of these words came about.

The family was away until today, so I spend all yesterday reveling in having the entire house to myself.  I celebrated by doing all the things I can't/won't do around my host parents.  I put the orange juice in the refrigerator so it would be cold.  I turned the music up really loud and did retarded dances all over the house.  I left my shoes by the door, my jacket on the chair, and my purse on the table.  I read a book in English. I did not cook lunch.  I had a hot dinner of nudeln (German dinner usually consists of cold bread and cheese) and (under)cooked them just the way I like it.  I watched bad reality TV, plus Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, which is even better dubbed in German, if such a thing is possible.  I attempted to make chocolate cake with a microwave and a coffee mug, and ate it even though it came out gross.  I even studied for this stupid test coming up.  With a prep book.  Basically, I bee-bopped around all weekend and made stupid noises.

The new horse is wonderful.  I have taken it upon myself to re-work her from the ground up, because she's so insane she's occasionally incapable of functioning.  So we've gone back to the most basic of basics, like how to move forward off leg (instead of up and down), and how to bend in a circle without coming apart at the seams.  Already today she was trotting out like a calm quiet champion, but I really miss having Di standing in the middle of the ring yelling at me.  So I mentally put her there, and yell at myself.  Whatever.  It works.

Today I slept til 11.30 and then headed to the Hengstparade (stallion parade).  Which was totally awesome.  Great Britain was the guest, so there were lots of carriages, marching bands, and English pony breeds running around, including a super cute little Shetland, and a batshit insane Welsh stallion that spent most of his turn in the ring attempting throw himself on top of his handler and beat the poor man's prostrate body into the earth with his little Welsh hooves.  Thankfully he was unsuccessful, else it would have been a rather abgefucked situation.

Random polo demonstration?  Prince Harry unfortunately not present.

Here's the Shetland:

And a Welsh, but not the batshit one:

Look, some shires:

And a sidesaddle drill team.  No thank you, I will not be participating.

When the Germans took the ring, there was an absolutely massive 23-horse drill team thingie.  What do 23 horses in a single dressage ring look like, you ask?  Like this:

Also, they brought in the Thoroughbreds and let them jump around, as an official demonstration of Thoroughbreds Jumping Around.  Which was a surprise unto itself, because I didn't realize they actually kept Thoroughbreds.  As it turns out, they do, and they occasionally add them to the genetic petri dish to keep the warmbloods from becoming too Panzer-like.  And in the fashion of any Thoroughbred worth his salt, these Thoroughbreds distinguished themselves by running around with their faces up in the air, rushing all the fences, and having complete mental breakdowns every time the Irish marching band in the corner played the tubas too loud.

They (the Landgestüt, not the Thoroughbreds) also imported some Hungarians (people, not horses) just so they could get this going:

And for reasons I'm still not clear on, the whole shebang ended with a surprise appearance from Ben-Hur.

All in all, a cool show.  Afterwards I went to the barn, and somehow got sucked into a conversation with an old man who noticed my riding clothes, and decided to tell me his entire life history starting with how his birth place is now in Poland, thanks to Hitler being a terrible Risk player.  But I didn't mind.  It was a super-interesting story, and I think he was lonely and just needed somebody to talk to.  Happy to be obliged!

Also, in case you were wondering, next weekend the pope will be about an hour from where I live.  Already there are signs on the highway for the "pilgrims" to follow, but none yet regarding the proper waste receptacles for smallpox and syphilis.  And I hate to break it to you Squanto, but you are probably not invited to this shindig.  

Other interesting things I've learned: when it comes to furniture makers and people who fix houses and things, Germany is still stuck in the 17th century.  As in, if that's the trade you're going into, you have to dress in the traditional costume, carry all your belongings wrapped up on the end of a stick, and wander around for three years, looking for work and never coming with 50 kilometers of your home city.  Oh, and you aren't allowed to carry money.  You have to earn food and a place to sleep by building and fixing things for whichever random strangers see you on the street and feel bad for you.  Personally, I think this sounds kind of awesome, and I'm beginning to rethink my masters degree in favor of running around the world in a dirndl.  On foot, of course, because you're also barred from public transportation.

Now I have to go study, but in the meantime, you can have my new favorite song of the day, by some guy named Tim Bendzko.  He has quasi-MJ moves, plus a pretty kickass cello going on in the background.