Adventures in the Motherland Part II!

MORE PORTUGAL!

Day 2 continued!

That evening, my cousin and her boyfriend picked me up for a trip to Caldas da Rainha, a nearby town with super fancy gardens and a nice statue of the queen.  The way there was highly entertaining: there were amazing pantomimes (involving shooting cows and yelling HAMBURGER!), there were Portuguese lessons (my accent is apparently good, but I can't do the Portuguese 'r'), and also a futile attempt at explaining the subtle linguistic difference between "the Black Forest" and "the black florist."  It was brilliant.

Caldas da Rainha turned out to be awesome.  We ran around town,

explored the gardens,

made fun of what my cousin's boyfriend called the "cheeneese" bear,

and I made them pose for pictures so I could document how adorable they are.

We also said hi to the queen,

and tried on gas masks in a uniform store.  Then we hit up a local shopping mall, where I got to listen to a Portuguese choir put their own spin on that particular gem of colonial holiday cheer, "Do They Know It's Christmas," which I have historically mocked mercilessly for it's willful ignorance of second grade science (equatorial climates get little snow) and geography (Africa is a continent).  Basically, it was the perfect song to listen to fifteen teenagers sing with accents.  I also purchased this monstrosity:

Originally intended as Host Mom's Christmas present, but after much consideration, I bought her something else that a) goes with the house, and b) doesn't look possessed.  

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering what Portugal does with its palm trees over Christmas, the answer is, "puts Christmas lights on them."  Duh.

Afterwards, we drove to a really cool local double-beach, with the ocean on one side, and a lagoon lake thing on the other, before hitting up the cousin's boyfriend's hometown to meet his family.  Who are absolutely adorable, told me I was beautiful, and made me swear that next time I come back to Portugal, I will come over for dinner. They may be loud and drive like lunatics, but one thing the Portuguese have got in the bag is warmth.  If the Germans looked up from their bratwurst, they could learn a thing or two.

Day 3: Sunday, December 18th

I took the morning to go run around Rio Maior a little bit and go Christmas shopping. This resulted in the following exchange (in Portuguese), between me and a sales lady:

Lady:  If you're interested the back table is 50% off.

Me:  Thanks.

Lady:  Here, let me show you everything.

Me:  Eughm...sorry, I don't speak Portuguese.

Lady:  You don't speak Portuguese?

Me:  No.

Lady:  Are you sure?

Me:  Yes.

Lady:  You really don't speak Portuguese?

Me: Ehrlich gesagt, ich kann gar kein Portugiesisch.  

Lady:  You look like you do.

Yay for not looking foreign!

Then my cousin came over, and we ate lunch with the tias.  Afterwards, Guy I Thought Was My Uncle But As It Turns Out Is Actually My Cousin drove us to Alcobaça.  There, we ran around an antique flea market,  

and explored the monastery.  Which is AMAZINGLY beautiful:

I got to hear all about the story of Don Pedro and Inês de Castro, whose love affair is more or less the fourteenth century's (pre)answer to Romeo and Juliet, except it actually happened.  In a nutshell, Pedro, the prince of Portugal, was married to some chick, but actually in love with Inês, a noblewoman apparently not noble enough for Pedro's dad.  After Real Wife died, Pedro and Inês had lots of sex and babies, to the point where it started to make everyone a little nervous.  So the King was like, "Son, you should probably stop," and Pedro was like, "Nah, I'll keep this broad around," and the King was like, "If you don't break up with her, I will send some assassins to behead her in front of her children," and Pedro was all, "You're bluffing."  Except then Inês got beheaded in front of her children, and Pedro was like, "I HATE EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD," so he built her a crazy tomb, executed the assassins publicly by ripping their hearts out, and hated his dad for forever, or at least until his mom said to stop.  Then he built himself a crazy tomb, and now they sit opposite each other so they can gaze into each other's eyes when they rise to heaven.  Or something. The end.

More monastery pictures!

There was a castle, but alas, we did not have the time to play amongst the rocks.

And we finished the expedition by buying some pastries for the tias.

After dinner, the cousin's boyfriend came over, and we all went into town for some hot chocolate.  Except the hot chocolate bar was closed, so he called his cousin to take us somewhere else.  The cousin of the boyfriend is a DJ whose nickname means "Little Chicken," so it took me all of about forty seconds to start referring to him as DJ Chicken, which everyone found extremely entertaining.  Especially when it was revealed he doesn't eat chicken.  Somehow in this discussion, I learned that the cousin's friend (who was also with us) taught himself English by watching movies in the fifth grade, and also that the boyfriend's mom raises ducks and rabbits for food.

Suffice to say, I was sad to say goodbye to them, especially to the cousin's boyfriend, who, despite speaking about 100 words of English, somehow manages to be one of the most hilarious people I've ever met in my life.

Day 4.  Monday, December 19th.

The tias and my cousin and I took pictures, and then drove me back to the airport, and I was SO SAD.  Lots of hugs and kisses and general being miserable went down.  I think I hugged my cousin like nine times, and we pinky swore to see each other again soon.  I miss them, and I can't wait to go back.

Tuesday, December 20th.

Goddammit.  It's snowing in Germany.

Wednesday, December 21st.

There's a letter from my grad school program sitting underneath Lord of the Rings.  It has been there since Friday.  I am too terrified to open it.