05 December 2011

Shoe Fail, Hat Win.

Apparently there's a custom with a lowercase 'c' in Germany where the night of December 5th, you clean your shoes and leave them by the door so that somebody (Santa, Jesus, Hillary Clinton, I'm not clear on this point) can come by and put candy in them.  But I came home from the barn quite late, and wasn't in the mood to clean shoes.  So I decided to be smart about the process, and put out shoes that were already clean, thereby saving me labor, time, and the embarrassment of having sparkling-white Converse sneakers.  Practical thinking?  Check.  Practical shoes? Not so check.

Here's the shoe line-up.  I bet you have NO IDEA which ones are mine.


Well, depending on what appears in them tomorrow, I can probably guess who came by.  If I get a bible, it was probably Jesus.  If I get a Democratic presidental nomination, it was probably Hillary.  If the shoes are gone, then the mystery as to whether or not Santa is a drag queen has been solved.    

In other news, sometimes, when I'm bored on the internet, I look at my own stats. Sometimes, I even learn new and amazing things.  Such as that one person has found my blog through a search for "a biography kozzii spikey flower," two with "starbucks storage room," and one particularly amazing individual with the exceedingly eloquent, "german mother fuked and boys," which I daresay sounds like the pope's Google search for free porn.

In other other news, as much as I love my Swedish hat, it's not cutting it for long distance bike-riding, German wind is just too good at diving between the woven Swedish fibers and punching me in the face  So at the Christmas market yesterday I bought a new AMAZING hat, which looks like I skinned a mammoth and put it on my head.  Win.

I'm going to Portugal in a week and a half, and Claire is coming in TWENTY DAYS OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED.

New favorite song of the day!  I've kind of been on a Decemberists kick lately, which means I've spent most of today bee-bopping to this:

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahaha out of all the shoes you have, you picked the hot pink heels? really?

<3amy

Anonymous said...

Red shoes have to get a ton of candy. Something tells me that Santa doesn't see a lot of those in Germany

Anonymous said...

only in the red light district!

--Tina

bbycrts said...

I guessing host dad is the one-legged individual?