13 April 2008

Just Say "Ja"

I have some advice for everybody who may ever go abroad/learn another language. Whenever anybody approaches you with a question/suggestion, think of me and just say "Ja." I have found that by just saying yes to everything, I've met/seen/been some pretty kickass people/things/places.

Note: The only thing you do not say "Ja" to is fifteen year olds trying to pay you for sex. Because I know that was the first thing you all thought of.

Examples of things you say "Ja" to: Tina, want to try this crazy German food that looks gross and probably tastes worse? Ja. Tina, want to go to Munich this weekend? We're leaving tomorrow. Ja. Tina, want to come to this equestrian team dinner party? Actually, I don't. What I want to do is stay home and do laundry and take a shower so that I'll be clean to go to Switzerland tomorrow. But "Just Say 'Ja'" policy dictates that I say "Ja," so, Ja. Whatever. Alright.

So I went, and I'm glad I did, because it was AWESOME. I only meant to stay for an hour and I wound up not leaving until almost midnight. The more I keep showing up, the nicer people are. Plus I learn some really interesting new words, like tonight I got specifically sat down and taught the various slang words for "sex" and "blowjob." Lovely. And no, I'm not filling you in. This story ends here. From here on out, I have no idea what you're talking about.

But what I found vaguely entertaining is how once you get alchohol into people, then they correct your German. Like tonight, I said something, and one girl said to me "What do you think that means? Because I don't think it means quite what you think it does." Are you kidding me? I've been in this country a month and I just get informed of this now? So basically, I've been making a fool out of myself for a month and nobody's set me straight until today. But gracias.

One kid also insisted on practicing his English with me, and he was trying to describe an "unfortunate condition" to me, but didn't know what it was called in English, and this is how the conversation went:

"Wait, what's the word? What's the word in English that I'm looking for?"
"Sober."
"Sober! Can you spell it?"
"S-O-B-E-R."
"Ahh! Sober! Sober! Sober!"
*random other girl*: "Speak to her in German!"
"I'm practicing my English, and I just learned a new word: sober!"
"Sober? What the hell does that mean?"

Can we discuss a little bit how I taught intoxicated Germans the English word 'sober'? Is nobody else struck by the irony and hilarity of this situation?

I love Germany!

Some added advice for anybody who may be studying abroad/learning another language: Do not bike home in the dark without a bike lamp and with any amount of alcohol in your system. This is not a good idea. That makes two things you shouldn't say "Ja," to, but only two things.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you get around to finding out what the German is for "Donkey Punch?" They're German so they've GOT to know what it is.

-Captain deMonch

Sam said...

I miss you oh so much...

Anonymous said...

What the hell does "sober" mean, anyway?

-- Bruce :)

Anonymous said...

Chris! Stop corrupting Tina!

Oh wait...she just turned 20. Crap.

-Jennifer